Rock BOTTOM

weekends

2007-11-11T14:45:00.000+08:00

i dont look forward to weekend with the same anticipation anymore..

i dunno wat to do..

aimless..

meaningful..

just let me sleep for eternity.

do not disturb...=(

irritating... on my nerves

2007-11-08T21:56:00.000+08:00

why do i get a feeling that i am always taken for granted?

does having a Car means i have to fetch everyone for organised outing?

failing to do so... will have me blamed. like wat u did.

hell yeah... dont ever ask me for any grp runs anymore.. cos i wont even be bothered to entertian...

so wat if the marathon is coming up? dont come to me as ur source of motivation or wat not... cos seriously.. u can do wat u wnan i dont realli care..

i am not interested in how much u ran today, yesterday or the day before..
so pls dont report to me and try to compare milage with me..

i am also not interested in how excited u are over todays run... which i am not excited abt at all.. i am more than happy not to run.

i dont wnana hear how any seconds u shaved off running the same route compare to last week..

if u cannot travel to ECP to run.. pls dont not rely on me as ur means of transportation..

and if u cannot drive ur family car, pls dont ask so many ppl along.. and expect me to fetch all of them..

sounds like i am the selfish one?

let me tell u why i am not..

I always waited for when you are late for late night run at West coast. sometimes 1hr . sometimes 30 mins ...
i could have completed the run with the waiting time.. have u ever been early?

i cycle all the way to ur house to run with ya... have you ever cycle to my house and run with me? even once at all?

marathon is suddenly so impt to you? i ran the marathon straight after our batam trip..
did i place so much emphaize on the toopid marathon?

i alwasy ask you for runs and you say u got classes you got church.... you got ur own prioiritty i also got my own...

dont get me wrong.. you are a good frined.. but ur love for running is realli getting on my nerves..

i alwasy trg alone. if u haven already realise.
it's good to have an occasion companion by the side.. but ultimately they wont go all the way with ya..
i seen too many le..

my dear marko.. now lost prob angry with me..

loti.. whom i only hear from when he need a lift to the start pt...
this are all my frineds....

now tell me where u stand and where i stand..

i am not angry
just disappointed.. over ur selfishness and accusing me ..

perhaps i wrong you.
then may i ask y are u so upset over this. have the thought ever cross ur mind tat i cannot compromise ?..

you also got car wat? dont tell me lame excuse like ur paretns are going for breakfast. and stuff.. just use the car afer breakfast...

i realli dont udnerstand the logic..

but watever the case. trg is alone.
the rationale is simple.. just like the bar and me..
alone is somewhat the best..
just me and myself

i am no team player..

losing my soul.

2007-09-23T22:43:00.000+08:00

been alone at home the whole weekend.
the feeling totally sucks..

bought some back log home to do.. cos deadline is mid week.. how toopid..
guess it totally sppoilt my weekend.

Suppose to meet some frineds for dinner on sat. with gifts all ready but was canceled.

somehow i dont have control over my life.. it is just work..

dont reach home till after 10..
the fact tat my boss is a no life person donest equal to me having to work late rite?
So riduculos.. cos im the only in uniform in the branch doesnt mean i need to stay late while the rest can knock off at 5.30 pm sharp.. WTH.. i dont even get OT pay..
i dont even get OFf.. speaking of which i still got a few unclaim of which i tink will never get paid back..

this is the system, this is the culture.. it sucks to work in such a environemnt. unequal treatment. full of critisim.. politic driven... fault finding.. the more u do the more fault u get.. dont do = no fault.

i dread going to work.. seriously i look forward to nothing..
i lost all those i once hold tightly onto..
i am myself and i do things for myself..

im not that kind and i wont pretend to be tat someone ppl wnan me to be..
im sick
im tired
im weak
im fat
im slow
im digusted
im wrong
im cant be bother
im watever u say i am

waatever..

lame chop

lifes a bitch ( wats new)

2007-09-17T22:32:00.000+08:00

hmm... something terrible happen yest.. some Arsehole in a bridal car try to beat the red light and smash onto the car i was driving. He dont even have the guts to settle the issue and scoot off . runnning away like a little girl.. this person is call *Wong yuwei* Spineless coward. if you cant Drive .. Dont Freaking Drive..
if something ever happen to tian.. i swear you be dead somehow.

i try very much to maintian my cool during the whole ordeal.. not many of us can say we have the experience of dealing with accidents. in my opinion, it is a clear case of beating the red light and smash right on onto me. when i call to report the matter to Traffic police.. they advise there is no need for Traffic police as there is not injury and by their definition of injury means amubulance need to be at scene. i mean WTH rite? i cant even fault the Wong Driver on the spot. the Wong's Dad.just say talk to his insurance and claim the damages .. wat is most blood boiling is that he say his car is bigger hence he suffer more damage.. when i try to reason with him.. he say he is not the one driving the CAr at the pt of impact so he cant comment and wanted to drive off the car.. when i ask for his Timid girlie Yuwei to come back to the scene , he say there was no need to.. just talk to his insurance..
when i call via Phone to the Sissy guy, the response is tok to insurance!!!!

WTF!!! dont freaking Call no insurance when you are in the Freaking Wrong..
i had since made a incident report and i have highlight the matter to TRaffic Police.. unless i get a answer for this reckless driver to be punish.. i will not REST...

I had put the life of someone i love in danger.. if the car is to hit onto tian.. i would not know wat to do.. something is definitely amissed for him to scoot off like this.. i feel helpless for not being able to get back justice.. im thankful to be alive with a few bruises. i will chose a harder right than a easier wrong.. i will not let the matter rest...

my weekend was gone and spoilt by his Screw up reckless driver.. i wonder how much peace can he have when he eat his wedding dinner.. Karma believers know beta.

the Farnie thingy is tat i was still looking at bikes the day before.. if i was riding then i confirm i would be at the hospital now.high riser handle bars.. Drool.

Pretty bike for a hippy guy.

i wanted pretty much to live the american Dream. ride a harley and Cruise ard town

updates from the previous post..pictures from Retro party.

tian..

Brea and chibi

the silly bunch..
thanks for the lovely Celebration!

things to Do:
get back in shape .. the full maraathon is coming 11 more weeks.
spent less. money is hard to earn..
get a nice watch ( see last blog)
i know i haven been doing this for a long long long time.. writing cards and getting gifts for my close frineds.
this sat will meet frined for dinner..
i sTill haven take my Pressie from xiao lou and buddy cindy..OMG so guilty
Adriel i still haven forget my meet up with ya!
and camper still holding on to my pressie!!
yikess yikes...

pls bear with me. i will arrnage meet up with ya ppl..
tired le. time to lala le..

SomeWhere over the rainbow

2007-08-26T18:22:00.000+08:00

so Fast August already..my Bday coming up reaalli soo.
hard to believe im aready mid twenties.. hahaa feels like old...

had celebration at minds cafe with my Sec frineds.had a toopid "retro" theme. alaways like hanging outwith them
especially Dingy jack and jingy...will put some pics when dingy upload them.
for this dinner, we espcially went to shop for retro stuff.. so silly... avaitor shads and retro shirt..

bought other shirts too.Stone cold one.. my Fav..keke. retial therapied. happi

Ah min and Brea brea Grace the occasion too..
Feel quite guilty.. seems like we area alwyas drown in work and forget the friedns ard us...Brea Brea looks kinda tired.

im pretty sure im not the only one..

woke up at 4 am just to go run.. 21km ... seems like quite short also seem like quite long
despite not training i still got s sub 2 timing... dont feel as motivated to run as before.. maybe it is the Army factor.. too much army guys and too crowded. next race will be real run.. before tat i be supporter for Great easatern or Shape run.. keke

maybe it is just me.. or maybe laziness.
wasnt too bad a run.

got a silly call from jing zai asaking me where to get a rock lee plush..
so heart Warming.. i never purposely give u the link to hint u to get present for me wor..

i wanna this one!! GEt for me.. kekeke..
hahaa
Jing Zai thanks for being such a Great frined despite making me wait 1 hr 37min and 58 sec at botak jones for you.. Hope things with EAT work out.. ahaha

got a movie invite from debra.. on my B day.. my supplier of free movie tickets.

one of my goal for my 25 years is to remain in touch and meet up wiht frineds..
speaking of which i sitll haven meet oe fo my frineds.. she pretty upset and waant to mail me my gift.. so so so so Sorrie.. haiz..

Work haven been Realli smooth sialling .. a lot oof shit pilling and dropping..

thanks to me Darlin tian.. i was about to get by despite being so tired and drained..

btw i found a reaalli Cheap watch shop at bencoolen..
got white color one.. nicer

or the military style one

it is either the adidas watch or the G shock.. wat say you.. whcih is nicer?

anyway my Fav gift receive is a musical box!!
so nice and soothing !! it totally make my daY!!!

for a beta future?

2007-04-28T17:25:00.000+08:00

no body knows wat lies ahead. try living life to the max u say?...
i dunno how so..

spending the weekend at home aint exactly living life to the max..

thinking back. its been some time since i had so much time to myself over the weekend..
dunno wat to do with them..

how ironic.. been lookng so much towards the weekend only to find i am stuck at home.
i dont need ppl non related.. not even close enough to call frineds to ditate my weekends..

strangers who take drinks without asking the first time they meet.. wat? he is ur boss? wat a generous boss..

slip in and out of sleepy land. drifted away in a subconcious environment.. wonder when will u be msging me..

perhap i need just a alittle comfort from someone.. anyone ?

i wanna make this work.. but i cant do it alone...

from the dumb guy who can differtiate a skirt from a dress...
leave me alone..

finally !!the rock has come back!!!

2007-04-15T23:29:00.000+08:00

hmm.. feels kinda werid to be bloggin all over agian.. no particular reason
kinda miss blogging .. smirkz..

i hate emotional episodes. am going to leave my guys as they move on with theirs lifes. realli.. i sadden moi greatly to seee the guys leave. the day the flag was handed back to Hq.. the company had officially closed down.. leaving behind nothing but dust and memories of yesterday.

seem only like yesterday we were up training.. doing early moring run.. swim training.. convention trg and ops deployment.. sheesh..

i tried to hold back my tears.. manage to somehow convince myself tat they be ahappier bunch outside. and all doesnt matter as long i rem them..

i will see them next week anywayat the dinner function..
am i too emotional for a guy? hmmm..

been of fine lately.. just a change in job place..still getting use to it... hopefully i dont get fat at office job.. ahaaha but working hours are office.. but i guesss shd have OT for the intial part...

transport a problem. take an hours plus to travel.. 2 hours plus back and forth..
daddy's getting a small CAR!!... a lot of second tho.. $$$ issue.. but Thanks DAD!!
thanks for wat all u have done.. love ya....

just to update: there a wonderful girl in my life. tian.. my life mainly revolves ard her. she is everything tat is to moi..

sorrie dautie.. still ahaven catch up with ya.. and my x mas present stil over at ur place..
haven meet up with muru and rosy!!
muru: u still own us a treat..
and rosy after ur exam we go Whack BBuuFFEEETTTT.. k? kinda miss ya guys..
still gottaa meet a few friens like Xm, sze, and biker chick.!!

hook on bleach anad prison break which was introduce to me by tian.
season 3 faster come out!! ahaaha

time to sleep.. still got a long weeek ahead!!

only 1/2 an angel

2007-02-04T22:37:00.000+08:00

i wasnt one to begin with... though i try to be one.. or at least i try...

decisons are so hard to make when emotions come into play. i cant decide. i had difficulties..

i dont know if i am right..

i dont know if i am wrong..

right or wrong...

i just need a single approval from you.. tat is all tat means to moi...

i am so selfish

2006-12-13T21:10:00.000+08:00

the more i tink abt it..

the more selfish i tink i am...

not tat i am not supportive... but....

i dont mean to be discouraging..

like the mummy tat refuses to buy the bike for the kid..

not tat the mummy dont love the child
but kinda like protecting the child from falling down..

call it protective
call it motherly..
call it selfish..

u probly wont understand unless u are experience wat i am feeling now..

i am the cause of all the toruble

MOoodddieeeeee

2006-12-12T23:49:00.000+08:00

cant rem the last time i actually felt tired..been quite some time i guess..

been out quite a lot.. miss some things tat i once like.

still cant change myself. maybe that is the way i am.. some little guy .. plain and normal.. it was always the case..

suddenly felt like going to the bar.. back to my lonely self.. at least there was peace... a short-lived one thou..but it was enough...

maybe i was disappointed.. or perhaps irritated by the most silly stuff...

i was troubled. but i know everyone had a bad day. shant burden others.

oh well...
tml will be a better day

i hope..

the day i was pulled away..

2006-11-19T09:29:00.000+08:00

Thank you..

Feeling.

2006-11-15T23:59:00.000+08:00

you closed ur eyes.

tat was the difference.

sometimes u cannot believe wat u see.. you have to believe wat u feel. and if u are ever going to have other people trust u.. u must feel tat u can trust them too....

even when u're in the dark...

even when u're falling..

missing..

2006-10-16T23:38:00.000+08:00

hmm..
a lot had happen since i last posted an entry.

a few nice things happen..as well as a few bad stuffs..

just today some silly road user drop or place a sharp piece of metal on the left lane of the road.. i couldnt react in time to avoid it and it torn my front tire.. argh...quite sway.. but i guess tat is the price u pay for cycling so much.. cos moi 50 bucks to replace.. 52 to be exact.. poor agian..

but i got to know a new friend.. the uncle who help moi get a new tire. he was once a national cyclist.. stop cycling for 18 years and now he came back..a bit out of shape. but he still enjoys wat he does.. so amazing...

it's not abt anytihng but wat the heart tell u wat to do..
he got 3 road bikes.. all very nice one... envyz...
he invited moi for some grp ride.. perhaps some day when i am free i will drop by..

when i was on off last week, incidentally i saw XM.. the very few ffriends i aknowledged in nus...and WE meet up for dinner!!!ha.. i mean how cool is tat.. how often u get two big guys meeting for dinner?originally was to ask the whole DP2 grp come out for gathering but only two of us cna make it..

Xm say i dont look as sad i was.. he say my eyes were diff.. wonder if there is certain truth to it.. but indeed life was comfortable as of now... i got time for myself and fmaily and all else.. pretty comfortable...

Xm also gave moi a cap as a belated B day pressie.. a bit touched... haaha
i pretty sure that is not the last time i be seening XM..

oh yah.. watch moives!!! cant say wathcing moive is my past time but i watch 3 movies lately..

watch ice age 2 with tian and buddy and her mum at starlight cinema.
watch u mi and dupree with the B day girl lihui
rob b hood with my family..

life been so blessed..
hope it stays that way...

sister's treat

2006-09-29T00:19:00.000+08:00

wooohooo..been given a treat at some hong kong style cafe!!!....thanks to ah jie!!

ah jie and ah bert...

mango ice!!...slurp!!

i got a belated b day pressie!!!

Lumpy lumpity lee
Lumpy bumpity bee
Lumpy dumpity dee
Have a lumpy like me
You make a game of your name
So it's never the same
Never the same
I found as usual
Now you got a name that's unusual
Lumpy lumpity lee
Lumpy bumpity bee
Lumpy dumpity dee
Have a lumpy like me !!!!!!!!!!!

Who live in a pineapple under the sea?

2006-09-28T23:59:00.000+08:00

been sometime since bikini_bottom members gathered...
maybe just like all groups .. eveyone just silencely broke off..
it is true tat at one pt or anther u got to move on.. be it a lonely walk...
but somethings we never forget...
happier times.

happy Belated B day from bikini bottom and stake holders( cos budget)

i could keep it to myself!! patrick's cute!!

we have all grown some how

2006-09-21T23:18:00.000+08:00

we win some .. we lose some..
today is games day...i won a two bags for coming first in two event..gave one to daddy..heee..
overall champions...

acutally got very nice face paint one.. but faded after sweating in the hot morning sun.. like crying on the right eye only..i likes
kinda rems moi of the time we had sports day, back in sec sch..

i saw my p.e teacher at my camp for ippt.. he had like grown fat..it is definately not the same p.e teacher i used to look at when i was sec 3..

seem to moi a good 7-8 years have made significant changes.. to both the body and mind. seems to moi tat we all have growth.. from little kids to childish boy and to immature men.. there is still a few more transformation ha.... to lao peh peh eventually..hee

life been pretty monotonous.. quite broke this month. cos of the liquiors i got at the duty free shop.. wonder y did i buy that .. since i dont really drink.. just buy and keep for some major events bah.. weird.. poor le..

admist the boring life.. i have grow so much closer to my bike.. gave it a good wax last week and a new sticker..

carl's jr..

2006-09-10T22:07:00.000+08:00

call mi shuang ku or wat.. but this is the first time i am eating carls jr..
courtesy of my buddy...
oh well.. sort of like a belated b day treat bah...

huge serving...!! kinda ex also.. but pay by nets got 20% off.. werid.. haha
since my buddy treat moi.. i not going to post ulgy pic of her.. post swee swee one.. haha.. buddy say thank u.. haha..

moi and buddy de..

heading back home for a nice warm dinner before sun set.
so fast the weekend over le..
tml another working day

im backs

2006-09-09T23:50:00.000+08:00

been away for a good 2 weeks.. unfortunately din bring along my cam.. only have my hp cam.. oh well..also din take a lot of pics lar.. cant show other the kiddish side of moi.haha.

only got a few pic from trg.. at base 2

map reading..i guess my map reading skills never fail moi. fastest to make it back to base camp..li hai rite? haha..

tank live firing area. my platoon HQ.. runnner and mg team..

tats all i have.. haha oh well..limited space in cam lar.R and R mostly amusement parks with thrilling rides.. roller coaster..and scary rides.. try them all.. hee
fun.. felt young once more..

moi outside hotel.. weather was terrible .. hot.. all tanned liao.. 38- 40 degree. phew scortching..

moi and gogo the tour guide.. she ask for the pic k. say i am shuai.. amazing how praises can make one happy..hee

pc 13 and moi... nubbad a guy..

dont mess with us k.. cos we meant business. hahahahaha act act only

my capable ps..i look so tall beside him.. hmmm..the place is at the zhong lie tang..
i was just there like 1 few months ago for my grad trip.. haha

calvin the guy tat supply moi all my transport requirment.

my company quatermaster

my pl medic..
this both pic is taken at the musuem.. hee i was there a few months ago.. nothing much change except the company.. haha

went nite market and visited a really nice donut store..

drool ppl drool!!!! the donuts were fantastic!!!!
play shooting game and won a cute snail!!!
cute?
sometimes one just need to slow down to appreciate life a little bit better haha..

moi and my sect 1 2 ic. hee..

got unrest at the president house. got ppl staging demostration..

all i could do is sit in cab and watch.. so fortunate that my country is safe.

staged demostration

last day le.. going back home le..

cool... haha

my runner ronald

moi and scout pc in the plane..

pioneer pc

recce elements.. haha...

oh well that is all i have with my 7610 cam. too bad got limited memory else will take more pic..
bought a shirt for myself and mostly stuff for family and friends..
got perfume for mummy.. most ex de.. 80 sing..really nice . i like the scent kenzo flower..

din really spent a lot.. din over spent.. $$ hard to earn wor.. ahah...

all in all .. it been a pleasant trip...

real run pics

2006-09-09T18:01:00.000+08:00

hmm the real run pics were release when i was overseas.

looks like i was in better shape last year.. or maybe it was the lighing?
hmm... i tink as a student i can afford to jion as many run and races as i wish but once one step into the working society..din run vertial marathon, din do tri.. cant go for mizuno wave and also cant go for ahm cos oversea.. oh well.. i guess tat just part of transition into working..

oh well..
shall enjoy each and every race..
as much as i can...

Everything fades away..

2006-08-24T11:45:00.000+08:00

duno why.. for some unknown reason i went back to sch on my off day..

visited my fav huant and spent abt 1.5 hr there.. feels kinda nice.. meet up with hui for lunch.. bump into Zm and WL.. had lunch together..

went town for a walk.. will be out of town for two good weeks..
going taiwan for trg.

dont miss moi too much de.

Thanks for the Advnace b day icecream treat.
thanks for all the b day wishes
thanks for all the smile u all put on my face.

delightful weekend

2006-08-20T13:11:00.000+08:00

it was my first Open air movie screening!!! watch 2 movies ( xmen3 and mi3)at padang. out in the open. with brea brea , chibi, jess, wynnni and her sister qui something de.. toobad dingy and kam din make it haiz..

munch on burger king and potato chips.. got whacky Dj to entertain the crowd and a whole lot of kids and a few missing child.. haha.. the expereience is truly nice and special indeed.

my hp can only take the pic.. the top of screen says class 95 movies at the padang..
the best deal abt it is that it is FREE!!! WOHOOOOoooooo

this is contribuited by jess...the pic
today the real run.. i woke up at 6...so much for teh practice run last weekend
LOti
moi...
look ferice can alreayd.. dont need run fast. heee

nothing like a 100 plus after race!!

post race pic.. haha not tired yet..

pretending to look shack out during warming down. haha
silly shots..

oh well.. lets wait for the race pic to come out.. hee..
06 real run buaiz.. seeya at real run 07.

friendly cyclist

2006-08-14T22:21:00.000+08:00

on my way to work.. i got a flat tire...
had no choice but to wake my daddy to recover my bike...
peak hr taxi hard to get. haiz...

to the friendly cyclist who offer moi a spare tube...
Thank you very much..

thought my day was lousy.. ppl like u make cyclist way cool...

(",)// WOOOOhooooo

weekend is always so short

2006-08-13T20:24:00.000+08:00

been such a wonderful weekend...
went to yishun to climb on a friday morning.. first time visiting the rock gym therE..
FREE!!! wooohooo.. nice air con place.. two storey can climb up.. tiles by the window.. but the bad thing abt it is that it is expensive.

we are the yellow team. haha..we won!!

gather dingy, jack, heman, kam , chibi and brea brea at TCC to nua for the nite...an advance b day celebration... then off to KTV... since i croak like a toad.. i dont seldom go ktv de.. pretty Ex anyway . espeically on weekends.. haha..

thanks brea brea and chibi for the book... and useless thing..

thanks gill and sharky for the little doggie and book of wisdom..

i guess it is ppl likethem that make my life so much better..

went for run at sentosa today with loti..haha.. since we sneak into sneak into sentosa without paying entrance.. haha ..we are ninjas!! heee..
ran for abt 1.5hrs..

we wanted to take a pic at every signborad.. but kinda craazy.. haha 5.10 is enought

then went to meet chibi and brea for concert at esplanade...

first time going inside!! FREE de!!! HOO WOooo...nubbad u know.. golden hits.. got song like love, dancing queen, standy by moi , how deep is ur love. sha lalala. sunshine day.. kinda nice.. make moi feel like i am those refined cultured ppl.. hahaa

the conductor was particularly cool.. with her fluid motions tat matchs the taichi master..

reminds moi tat to be standing infront of the orhestra..a conductor have to turn his back to the crowd....

hmmm ponder...

family photo shoot

2006-08-07T22:47:00.000+08:00

ah jie had a studio shoot package when she grad..but she says she wait for moi to grad then take a family photo together..so her's package is two year old. haha
so sunday we went to take..

doing all the prep...like very formal de..

shuai mah? heee look farnie.. first time in coat wor...

moi and papa!!

mi and mummy . taken from reflection with my losuy cam phone.. some one get moi a V3

moi and ah jie.. after eveyr thing le.. going for dinner soon.. HOOoooo

oh yah
i saw something cute!! a grad bear!!wOOOhoooo

yeah... get moi one!!!1

count my blessings

2006-08-03T22:40:00.000+08:00

been quite sucky lately...
having a lousy boss doesnt help too..
attitude fellow workmates din help either

dont really matter cos i know if anyone can get the job done.. it will be moi cos i can..

haha
going back to work on two off day.. how sucky...
tml suppose to be on leave.. but still going back work..
WONderful manz!!!

amist the work.. i counted my blessings. and i alwasy counted a few of u twice.. brea brea , chibi and all those who give moi a occasional nudge and push when i needed some motivation and alistening ear..it is just my mind and my perception

fail to meet sze cos of work.. wasnt too keen on going anyways.

fail to get a graddie bear from brea brea.. shd be quite cute..

got another surpise today..
dautie gave moi a grad bear.. a bit late.. but better late than never.

grad bear makes my day and put a smile to my face .
plus a cute ducky and a frog and tadpole..

a few dark chocolate. a few bottles of milk.. and soothing jazz
life is good..

someone

2006-07-19T16:43:00.000+08:00

thanks for the nice dinner..

oops wronged u

2006-07-15T23:02:00.000+08:00

today eyecandy out of the blue msg moi.. she don ususally talk to moi de... she ask her for her pic with moi.. haha.. so i sent her.. haha then she commented she look short and type crap!! haha.. weird.. but just happy that the stuff is not the way i imagine it to be.. so happier.. hee heee..

i fell down while turning on a corner... the road was wet.. guess teh tire lost traction... wonder how did tat happen.. hhmm.. still amaze moi... haha
got a bruise butt and a swollen ankle.. aint stopping moi.. hahaa

commencement

2006-07-15T01:07:00.000+08:00

good or bad.?. i dont know...
but it is the start of sometihng..

my commencement is on 13 july morning.. i prefer nite tho.. cos i used to cycle late at nite into nus premises and see the colorful lights.. nice.. if only my life was as colorful..

guess mummy and daddy should be proud.. at least they had done their part in giving moi a good education... i tink i will be nothing without them...

took plenty of pics.. but sadly most of my pics i have sleepy eyes.. arhhhh.. lack of sleep.. was writing thanks u cards the nite before..
xm comfrim willget one for helping moi so much..

labbie and moi

DP2 group

wrote one for prof loh too.. but unfrotunately din manage to take a pic with him.. haiz.. but when i went back to sch for ah ru commencement

and thank him persoally in his office...kinda sad when he say it is kinda wasted that i am not in the chemical industry.. a diff path i chose.. oh well...

took pic with many frined.. old and new.. Xm.. juina. de de sze sze. got supports.. brea brea and chibi.. thanks so much for coming..!!!not forgeting SL lifeng and fang jing!!
a few of the pic turn out kinda "chui".. haiz..

took a pic with eyecandy too.. but she kinda mean.. she ask her sister not to take a pic of us and sort of scold moi when i lower myself to take a pic with her.. sad..

zijuan.

i got 3 hand made card for my grad...brea brea made one.. chibi made one.. and muffin made one.. so touched...i guess i did made good frineds in uni.. i growing fonder of chibi and brea brea.. cos they are just toooo.. nice...

nothing quite fantastic.. but i hope my parents were proud..
and i hope i did leave my foot prints in both nus and in the hearts of my frineds.

Nice happy day

2006-07-07T21:11:00.000+08:00

today was a nice day... meet up with koala...
din see her for the longest of time...she looks kinda tanned but still as nice..she's going for her operation..so lets wish her all the best...=)

i got a tigger note holder from de de.. she got that from hong kong disney land.. she just landed on tuesday.it is so nicely packaged... really liked it.. heehee.. thanks de...
becos of the design project.. tiink they address moi as tigger from now on.. kinda werid but oh well... we dont get to stay young tat often..

my commencement is thursday...!! feels kinda werid.. oh well.. going to dress like a waiter. haha.. i got a few thank u cards for those ppl who make an impact on my uni life...
going to write them later.. hee..

i going to be wokring the next 4 day just to make it such tat i got off for my grad.. kinda silly.. but oh well...
thurdays the big day.... tat means i gonna miss all my other frineds commencement.. cos of work.. well kinda sucky.. pukes..

tml going back to work.. boss is kinda lousy.. knowledge sucks, ability sucks and quality sucks.. only know how to smoke.. smoke physically and smoke out.. totally chui one.. KNS..been into too much arguement with him liao.. i just live my life according to my intergrity and my pride. althought act blur do make moi live longer.. haha but i cant sleep at nite knowing i am like that.okie.. ming tain hui gei hao.. hee..
i am answerable for all my men.. i am answerable for all my actions.. i will live my live a proud man and a proud soldier. =)

a few updates.
meet up with my buddy..

like hard gay cute kiki ippatsu

i got a new jazz cd for myself.. hee..
seem kinda excited abt the commencement..

the fine line

2006-07-02T20:34:00.000+08:00

the fine line btw first and second... is that few seconds..

althought i always tell myself the results dont really matter as long as i give in my very best..

but knowing that u aint the first can be a saddening episode for all to bear..
even the strongest of man.

it is perhaps fate that i knew the dragons boaters who came to the bar to pull..
aint surprising given the time i spent ard there..

saw a few of them cried having lost out to NTU..
severvals factors lar.. u might say it is the alignment of the universal then tat cause such a consequence. but the way i see it.. the better team won..

it is always like tat.. i dont care how much training u had.. only that one instance
that one race matters.
that's life...

i went to see the PM cup. just to gain tat some bit of motivation for myself.. been very draining physically for moi lately.. body's telling moi to stop but i have to do that extra something to differiate champions from non champions..

i am tat much motivated..

savour the victory..but rem those that din win.. cos we were once like tat...
there can only be one champion..

for those tat lose..dont dispare there is always next year...

the next time u see moi.. i definately be a stronger person

i miss u

2006-07-01T09:25:00.000+08:00

yesterday i went to sch to collect teh grad gown... the collection place was mpsh...
feels kinda happy to be heading back to sch once agian...

in fact i was more eager to visit my fav huant than collect my gown..
was alone at sch anyway..

i can only rem vaguely my first day at sch.. filled with anticiptaion and fire.. at the end of 4 years.. i am sad to say uni is not as fufiling at it claims. got tonnes of sadness, tonnes of hyprcritical ppl. of cos.. i also met a few good friends. xm, sze, winnie,de de. also a few prof tat will serve as a role model for moi..
prof loh, Prof laksa, prof lee and prof marc galand.. the 4 chem eng idols.. espically prof laksa!! his passion for teaching raawks...

when i was at the bar.. i cant help to rem the times with had with marko groovy koala at the bar.. been short but fun... althoguht marko and i have not spoken after have some childish arguement, but i miss his company sorely..

i guess sometimes guy are jsut egoistic..i am grading this year. and i sent a mail to marko saying tat i am going to grad this year. wonder when is the chance we will pull again?

since he din reply.. tat is prob the end of the friendship. oh well..

once i din really wann attend commencement.. cos of my losuy classifcation.. but i guess that is wat mom and dad wnan.. to see moi grad with a squarish hard.. at least they be proud of their silly son..

i realise as i grown older and bear more responsiblity.. i dont live for myself... i live for teh others.. the reason tat daddy go to wrok, rain or shine, is becos of family.. the fact tat the poor bagala work relentess under the hot sun is for his family back home.. the energy comes from this very driving force.

i believe i am still in teh process of growing up still..

feels kinda sad ..

oh well...
i am off to get thanks you card..
got a million thanks to those who help moi in one way of another in this 4 years.

precious weekend

2006-06-25T20:04:00.000+08:00

Weekend seems so precious...appreciate each and every min of it...

Fri: had a long cycle and a good run friday..
dinner with dp2 friends and chill out at blacks..
i always like chilling out there..

SAT: had many activitis going on ..dingy and gang went to sing ktv.. DA se and frineds went to see some artitic fire.
yeelin ask moi for dinner..
camp instructors also got gathering at alley bar.

but i choose to rot at the comfort of my own home.. watch shi zi lu kou. which i sorely missed..
i only went supper with dingy and gang..

Sun: pop by rosy house cos got " cook out".Cook curry and a few other dishes.. got a SMALL patrick and a Banana SOFT toY.. wanted to go climbing but could find the time.. arhh.. time is so short..

tml is monday..work starts again.

A fresh start..

how?

2006-06-21T20:50:00.000+08:00

yet another commando officer die..

maybe this path is better for mi... just maybe....

i cant sleep at night.. knowin tat i have not achieve wat i dream...

maybe this will turn out for the worst..

just maybe..

i fell down today...
but i got right back up...

WHeee!!!! QTWW... Do Ur stufF!!

2006-06-18T00:17:00.000+08:00

i got a QTWW.... (Qing tian WAwa)

she has magical powers to bring good weather and is good to bring along for picnic...

it will bring sunshine to moi and all my good friends..

been such a short weekend but a wonderful one...

Father day dinner..thanks papa for working so hard for the family.. now tat i have grad it is my turn to work hard for others rather than myself!!! oosh!!!

nite safari trip and a hearty supper( minus peanut smell)

my day was wonderful!!

Acid camp 2006.

2006-06-11T23:23:00.000+08:00

i dunno abt u.. but i tink i always like I.D kids.
they are so special and unqiue. not everyone sees them the way tat i do...

rudes stare, long weird glances.. oh sheesh..sometimes i wish the public eye will see them in a diff light...

there goes my whole weekend.. despite havin to work sat.. it was all worth it..
ACId mean Annual Camp For the intellually disabled.

couldnt agree tat the camp was fantastic but i sure jason had fun.. i had some fun knowing a few cute kids from east pt..

there is this mommy tat takes great care of her child.. and trying to get him involved.. i am sure it is not an easy task.. the wonder of motherly love.. she din abandon him.. brough him into the world.. no complains no regret.. just tonnes of love for the kid...

i wish i was could be as wei da as the mommy.

there was this TJC rugby girl or at least wat i heard her. got this little 11 year old home sickish kid who keep pretending to call his daddy and mommy.. asking them to come...so cute rite? he homesickish le.. when i ask him wat will he do when he see his mmoomy and daddy.. he say he will hugg them and kiss them.. so sweet de..

it is definately not easy to be the parents of i.d kids. tat i can comfrim.. but to give the kids such wonderful love.. i tink the world is a greater place becos of such ppl...

got a urge to jion E.P and move away from YCK.. EP ppl seem nicer..maybe i shd move on and change project...

i guess i cant whine anymore
i guess i cant be sad anymore

i guess i cant leaving knowing that there are little differences that i can make to those kids..

maybe taht is the spirit of volunteerism

lack motivation

2006-06-10T10:16:00.000+08:00

maybe it is just a transitional phase...

when you change the way u look at things..
the things u look at change.

homer.. my idol!! for x men3

2006-06-04T18:14:00.000+08:00

the end of ultimate slug.

2006-06-03T21:07:00.000+08:00

just posting the recent pics.
this is lin yen.. one of the sweetest girl i know in nus.. got to know her from CF.. still rem we are the two silly person trying to shift display board in the middle of suntec. haha.. silly.. her kind gesture always make moi happi and touched..

we took the last pic. she meet moi for lunch knowing i was soon going to grad.. see. her actions always touched moi..

meet up dingy, jingy and jess for dinner the other day at holland V..

rounded up the GAng yest to go GOldust For jack B day celebration.. hoping he get sabo cos they got a B day celebration segment...

there.. dunearn gathering.. wonder how much chance are there for us to gather and be wild once again...

disappointed... din get to hear that "dont cha" song.maybe next time lar..dont blame moi teacher..

moi and the "hot"TEAcher..

recieve some dark chocolates and a B day bear yest.. kinda werid.. no my b day yet thou.. present from sze..for some reason.. always get into argurment with her. shes nice but she just dontudnerstand moi at times..
rare pic of her.. she dont take pic one.

it is all fate....yuan feng..
to be able to meet u all as friends and slowly become brothers (espeically bb1 and dingy) and good frineds.
it is definately not easy for moi...

thanks u all for the frinedship,, wish moi luck as i move on with the next chapter of my life..

DAy O DAy O.

2006-06-01T21:25:00.000+08:00

thanks for the kind GESture..

2006-06-01T01:07:00.000+08:00

today someone did something nice..
i was buying a "Hoops and yoyo" for someone as B day pressie..

apparently to buy that.. one has to purchase a hallmark card.. but then i din wana get a card..

so i was standing there pondering whether to get a card or not.. cos hallmark cards are kinda costly....

then this kind lady appeared and offer to combine her purchase of card with "hoops and yoyo" . tink she over heard the saleboy conversation with moi..

Super nice lady.. whoever u are... Rocky and his million and million of his fanz say thanks to you...

busy day..
1) meet gill and lf for lunch
2) meet piggy, de de and sze to nua
3) meet sun brea brea for dinner and pass her stuff
4) meet sharky and friends to pass her shark.

contented day....

things i absolutely hate!!
one word reply on msn..

the next person who reply one word ans will not get a response from moi.. will be totally ignored...

message of the day: be a nicer person..

bright sun, soft sand and the clear SEA!!!

2006-05-31T01:36:00.000+08:00

WOOhoo.. had so much fun in redang..
berjaya resort!!private beach..

i always like hanging ard with my kampong kam sec gangs. they are ever so farnie.. and fun....

we went snorkelling..

guess who is who..?

blow some bubbles with R*duckie and R*bearie

bb1 with R*bearie and R*duckie

did silly stuff..

and dingy expose himself..

fly some kites..(R*hawk and R*eagle)

use our mi mi wu qi.. the FAKE submerge banana boat (AKA bamboo)
stunted some of the holiday maker with our superb swimming skills

nua at beach...

ate like a king..

life shd be like this..

back off..

2006-05-19T00:16:00.000+08:00

it takes more courage to back off than to fight...

but i still cant walk away

it hurts moi greatly knowing tat my actions have cause unintentional hurt to u ..

S-O-R-R-I..

the strongest word ever...

LOST soul # 2

2006-05-17T14:18:00.000+08:00

every person has their own unique set of problems.
it just agitates moi when ppl who bearly know moi.. wanna act like they know everything when they haven even been there and haven even done that..

diff ppl chases for diff thigns in life.
for some is GOD
some for moo lah
some for LoVE
some for family
Some for Friends
some for dreams
some for passion
some for happiness

jstlike wat mrs lee said.. "keep everything in perception".. it is all abt how u tink
wat u can live and wat u can live without...

just piss moi off when ppl say i shdnt slack whne i just grad.. i shd be sloggin my arse off? if u ever understand throught all my uni life.. i aint got a break.. unlike u who are on ur papa's scholar ship.. i tink i shd at least rest a while before contiuning...

just my fault for sharing too openly my feelings.. my fault... need to be constantly reminded not to trust ppl.. secrets are only safe wtih myselff..

Friends are a let down..or at least friends as such.. ppl got different needs.
diff ideals.

i guess i am trying to hard to socialise..
once loner froever loner...

at least my solitude is peaceful.....

something wrong with moi

2006-05-17T03:07:00.000+08:00

i am just like the rest.. why? but there is only one me..

i am lost and i dunno

i was never alive..

2006-05-14T23:29:00.000+08:00

was looking at piggy's vietnam pic... cant help but to compare.

yes indeed singapore ahve every thing they lack, better roads, better housing,
better food, cleaner place, greener trees.
but the one thing we lack.. a happy smile..

at one pt in my life i tink i lost mine.. along with the 4 millions singaporeans..
just a facet of life? i dont knoe.. but the vietnam kids althoght they have lesser but they are happier.. we have so much but we are not happi... wat it is tat i am aksing for... i am so lost now...

BB1 is lost soul 1 cos alex issint by his side
i am lost soul 2 cos i cant fight the demon within moi
jack is lost soul 3 cos he had some problems too..
eveyrybody dreams and wishes for sometihng.. i dontknow wat is mine anymore..

only those that finish the race first seem to be happier.. but out of the million competiors.. only one can emerge victorious... the happiness of one on the sorrow of a million..

just wondering how come i am born lesser .. how come alway the sillest, the lowest grade, the top never belong to moi no matter how hard i try..

i just a loser...yet i refuse to admit it... how sucky.. if ppl with 2nd lower cannot find job.. i tink i shd just die right here.. cos the future is not bright..uni promises to nuture talent.. it din nuture lar... it only kill off those lesser..and package it to make it seem like that they nuture them.. wat? not true? then u are telling mi that uni will accept an ITE student and make then become a Freaking FRist class student? yah rite, most prof only care abt their reseach and publish papers.. u tink they seruou care abt the undergrad? tink again..

that is the reason why ppl lack integrity.. the easiest way to get things done not necessariyl means the right thing..that is why some ARSE hole stole my hp in the tolet. some ARse hole stole labbbie stuff.. and some ARse hole stole sunbear's climbing shoes... u know how sunbear's like those shoes.. well i dont blame them totally.. soceity fault.. all it is interlink.. too competivive, outcast will try to disrupt the syetem and make ends meet.. too busy.. the young lacks upbring.. maybe a few more years all the kids will be calling their maids "mommy" and the second sunday everymay will be known as "happy maids day"... who knows..

i only rem teh happier times i had in sec sch, kee, kammy dingy, heman , jack. hope to relive the fun days again..teh fun days with marko, groovy and weiyang..perhaps this is wat u do when u are old and rocking on a chair.. remininces abt the good old days.. for GOD had blessed us with memories..

sometimes i never felt alive before .. i wish i wasnt a town mouse... but a country mouse....

but country mouse has his own set of problems.

still hanging ard

2006-05-13T22:31:00.000+08:00

been only abt a week or more since the last paper..
been cyclin lots, climbing, going out, nuaing , wathcing anime and catchignup with frineds and family..

a lot of time at hand causes u to ponder over certain stuffs in life..
for some reason, i was constantly reminded by friend's death on the road, i cycle with some element of fear nowadays.. the fear was lesser in group rides tho, eveyr time some huge vehicle comes near or just miss moi inches away.. wonder why... maybe some omen.. maybe shd laid of cycling for soemtime.. do safer stuff.

Some SEP student call louis, ask moi for my notes..he is some mexican guy lar, appreantely he din take final exam tehn and now he is panicy asking to borrow my notes and tutorial..
he sent moi an SMS. calling moi "YAOMING".. For CRyingoutloud.. the least u can do is to get the person name corect lar..

i lent him none the less cos it is my "nature to SAve"... acccording to some cool lifeguard it is a silly thing to do. sometimes i agree but then i am just silly..

i been told to focus on the little pleasures in life at least life would have been happier. until the day i am contented i guess i will never be relly happi..

peception changes when u are 18 and compare to when u are mid twenties... when u are young u wanna fight the world.. wanna oppose eveyr thing... whne u are old, as long as i get to live another day and see my loves one .. i am contented... how weird.. is that growing up?

dreams are meant to be chased..
shd i just keep on chasing or shd i just give up..
in the end.. wat realli matters?
i am not young anymore.. the fire had indeed diminished

the air head need to think...

joke of the day

2006-05-09T01:45:00.000+08:00

the problem with accents...

bb1 work as IT help. then he got tonnes of indain collegues
he cant understeadn the way they speak..

A is pronoun as YEH.....

Happy is pronoun as YEH - PI...

let moi hear ur ABC

YeH b c d e f g h i j k YAO YAM YAM o p q r s t u v da ber you x y Z.....

that's life..

2006-05-09T01:03:00.000+08:00

life dont usually promise u a lot.. it just dont..u dont often get wat u want..perhaps the best is really to be contented with wat u have.. and try to experience happiness....

a friend just pass away from bike crash.. only 25.. if i were to leave the world today. i tink i will not die peacefully . cos there is still so much to do and i have not really live life to the fullest..

over the 4 years, i believe i have change a considerable amt.. become milder, kinder, and more concern abt other's feeling..even do social work.. i rem i wasnt like tat.. was very competetive and angry then.. guess that is the way i wanna live my life.. be a nice person.. and the silly monk who scoop the scorpian that sting. cos it is my nature to save..

sad stuff aside.. psot exam activities!!!! been slakcing and enjoying the freedom..
lates nites.. cycle till 4-5 am ...watch anime.. meet up with friends.. plan trips.. going to redang with kampong friends!!! so hard to orangise one.. cos everybdy is tied down... really happy all is gonig!!!WOOHoooo we wil creat havoc once agian....

wannted to do rescuce diver cos.. but i tink time and space dont permit..
pretty broke also...

going to taiwan with family.. never go so far before .. this is the best chance liao le.. heee..

got two wedding dinner side by side... haha

the neice that i seldom see...considered given away bah..haiz.. so sad..

good food.. good company.. cute kids...

cute haidi..

going pay for trip tml, go climb and go pei ah jie and ah bert sister to shop.. hunt for new shoes. my leather shoes are goner..no formal shoes le

some cute pic i took during the exam period

tigger with style like owner

silly looking creature call hoops.. just look cute and silly..

things to do
1) catch up wit frineds.
2) run faster, cycle faster,swim faster
3) smile more..
4) nice moive
5) go chill out
6) be nice..
7) sushi buffet
8) class 2a

any takers?

lesson for the day..

2006-05-01T01:24:00.000+08:00

pls dont try ...

u know the results

so why even bother...?

think

2006-04-28T02:05:00.000+08:00

i din pray for u not to fall....
but instead pray that u will be stronger after ur fall....

we all fall now and then...
we will be stronger...

rite?

felt really loved today

2006-04-25T00:08:00.000+08:00

really shd not be bloggin but i going to do so cos i wanna rem this day..

been feelnig realy lousy over the exam tml..or rather today...
downstream processing!! most yucky mod.. pls dont ever take it..pukesSSSSs......

was alone in the library when linyan came and pass moi chocolate.
it brought a smile to my face.... real sweet gesture..
she acompanied moi for dinner despite eaten herself..so nice...

thanks..

reach home at 12midnight.. mum woke up and warm dinner for moi...
depsite all the unhappy sch work and all the tiem i spent away from home at lbrary or yih...

i felt really really loved today..

thanks for all i have.. including my airhead brian...

tagged by muru..

2006-04-21T21:05:00.000+08:00

here goes..

FOUR THINGS ABOUT ME

FOUR JOBS I'VE DONE IN MY LIFE( that I can remember)

1.waiter..
2.cable puller..
3.tutor..
4.camp facilitor

FOUR MOVIES THAT I COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN

1. the incredibles
2. Toy storY!!
3. ice AGe 2
4. Black hawk down!

FOUR PLACES I'VE LIVED

1.teck whye
2.clementi
3.changi
4.jurong

FOUR TV SHOWS I LOVE TO WATCH

1. The Simpsons
2. naruto!!
3. Whose line
4. America chopper

FOUR PLACES THAT I'VE BEEN ON VACATION

1. Malaysia
2. thailand
3. taiwan
4. yikes that is all.. i am boring.. sobzZ..

FOUR WEBSITES I VISIT DAILY WHEN I'M ONLINE

1. Mail
2. Blogs
3. nus.edu.sg
4. togoparts

FOUR OF MY FAV FOOD

1. Burger king anytime
2. DARk bitter choco
3. Milk
4. and almost anything

FOUR PLACES I WOULD RATHER BE NOW
1. by ur side....
2. in ur dreams.
3. on my bike.
4. anywhere but study room..

FOUR FRIENDS WHOM I'VE TAGGED AND THINK THEY WOULD RESPOND

1. Sun bear bear
2. Chibi
3. Dr Doodle
4. Ah ru

thankS sun bear bear!

2006-04-20T21:25:00.000+08:00

somethings are not meant to be shared..
dede did just tat...
dont u get it? cant u respect ppl privacy..
aint angry,, jsut utterly disappointed..

another one to the cant-be-trusted book..

HEY,, sunbear bear drop by and pass moi Goodies at study room..
so sweet of u.. thanks sunbear..
get more sleep!!!

dinner time..

last days of a student

2006-04-20T00:53:00.000+08:00

today frist paper.. and for some is their last paper.. hwo sick yah?oh well..
i dont complain.. cos i get to be student that much longer.. cherish each and every moment despite exam period...

raining this few days..
as usual pull.. i cant help to miss it.. the uncle whose cleaning tat area. i told him that i going to grad soon.. evey day without fial.. he will be there cleaning..
i coudl learn a tink or two from him.. relentless, repsonsible..

This sem especaily, know more frineds, maybe it is the mood of leaving.. ppl added out of no where.. make a new frineds here and there.. depsite i am going to leave uni soon.. weird eh?

oh ya. the bet stil hold.. and i got to bring tigger to sch...haha.

i thhough of puting it on my exam desk... cos it is ike kinda cute...and it puts a smile to my face..
but but the rest of them bring it too.. hahaa

Winnie's winnie.. after one year. still as cute..
winnie is 25 year old lor.. still act like 18 ... haha...
so farnie..

Xm try to keep his E-or WARM...

and DEhui try to keep all to herself!!!
hahahaa

pink tigger.. happy de wor..

we are really attention seekers..
but... Designproject 2 really link us closer togtoher... i like my dp2 group...

went to hunt for kam pressie.. cos his B day is now!!! grr.. cant find a suitable one..
got myself a plush!!!! happy..

today i am happy.. my day is not wasted..

DP2 outing and hai di 1 year old B day.

2006-04-16T22:49:00.000+08:00

DP2 mates.had a fine system.. for every min late for meeting.there is an one buck fine.
so towards the end there is like a GOod 79 bucks in the fund..
we decided to go for dim sum and outing lor.. reward ourself for all the hard work
watever teh results.. we had work hard *pat pat*

good job de..
after dim sum ,had some tow huay, some games, some chat , some laughs.. DP2 group is so nice....

rem the posting back then?
Sunday, April 17, 2005

http://photos1.blogger.com/img/199/4141/320/relax%20time.jpg
winnie drinking teh at E2 computer cluster
http://photos1.blogger.com/img/199/4141/320/relax%20time.jpg
winnie sitting on chair..

this was winnie's B day pressie.

that was in Design project one..
now it is design project two..
the joke now was for winnie to get xm an E-or and get moi a tigger.since he din get one for our B day..
but the catch was to use it as an hp accessory..muahah

xm with HUGE hp Accessories.

my cute tiggER!!

i love to hang ard more with the rare outing but i had to rush to hai di one year old B day.

aint she cute.. she barely can stand during CNY , now she can walk ard liao.

shu hui getting cuter day by day le..

sister shu ern .. cute de wor!!

oliver!!

didi..
the REst of teh kids are running too wildy for moi to take a decent pic.. Ha..

kids and toddlers..!! they just make my day....

the last day...

2006-04-16T22:24:00.000+08:00

this posting is back dated. computer spoilt for some reason..
after the design project submission on thursay, the whole struggle is over..
this particular thursday offically mark the end of the schooling days. left only the exams to come..

sch particularly quiet for a reason. guess most are busy slogging.. i visited piggy for her poster day,chatted with her and sze before going to yih to mug..

for some reason, i decided to visit the bar..so miss sitting there and day dream..

the bar was very quiet.. missing were the vibrant atmosphere from the earlier sem..
only see one familiar face there. yoke hia , he's alwasy been at the bar too..dragon boater for 6 or more years. feel really nice to have some one pulling together..
maybe it is the feeling of having a company.. i know i have been a loner for the longest of time.. marko aint coming back after some minor argument the time my phone was spoilt.. as if i wanted that to happen.. watever..he's prob happy somewhere with his gf.. friends...teach moi tat lesson abt frinedship again?

miss all those who had pull with moi. at one time or another...
dont think the chance will come agian for us to pull together...
it shall always be a wonderful memory i will alwasy carry deep within moi..

feels weird on the last day of sch..
began this journey with no one..
known some good frineds.
of cos some stay and some left..
for those tat stay with moi till the end i am grateful..
i relly need to thank those who helped and encouraged moi along the way..
Big Thanks!

last weeek of sch.

2006-04-13T04:24:00.000+08:00

just reach home from doing lee sign at sch.. tml the dead line.. dont tink we really did an excellent job.. ended up deleting some of my report just to prevent overshooting of page limit.. So FArking toopid!!..
anyway effort is not equal results... who cares..

i got back my test. fail agian... 19/50.. sure below average one lar.. hahaha..
this mod is sure gone case one.. WTH..
at the mental state i am now.. i tink every thing i do also will fail... just feel lousy and miserable..

cant belief this is the last week of sch.. started off the sem by telling myself to cherish the moment.. ended up neglecting all the stuff i hold dear..and turn into this super no life creature..
mummy bough breakfast for moi yet i left for sch to do design
mummy cook lunch for moi yet i lost appetite cos i was troubled over design..
indeed the design project is tough.. if every sem was like tat. i tink i would have drop out of sch.. cos this is not really the way i wanna live my life.

really have to thank my groupmates for making the process less torturing.mentally torturing.

cant belief exam start next week. and i haven even started revising..

it will be all over.
yesterday will soon be history
there is no light at the end of the tunnel.. only darkness and sadness awaits.

it is not the destination.. but the process...

i suck...

meng..wat do u want?

2006-04-07T23:51:00.000+08:00

i cant help but feel this...
ppl are getting offers. for their wonderful A grades type of results.. wonderful offers from shell.. SRC.. exxon mobile. some even MIT...continue studies...

getting envious over such luxury that will never be offered to moi.. me and my lousy grades... their hard work have paid off.

while for some like moi.. sometimes there are no happy endings.

ppl are somewat insensitive. i was sitting there at the canteen. waiting for some design project discussion and all they ever do is to brag abt how they got into some big company..
i am not interested!!! cant understand why they like to waste my time.. ask moi for project meeting and tok abt other stuff... cant u all tell i am no interested?

my 4 years.. felt so wasted... feel so lousy..
when koala ask moi wat i wanna.. i wanna a second change to make right all my worng doing. i told her i want a second chance at uni.. i jsut hate losing out to the system

why am i suffering so much for the leesing project? cos i din copy senior report.. why did i start from scratch every single Shit thing.. when there are tonnes of senior report. cos i dont belief the key to learning is to copy other works..

maybe i am not a smart worker.. my group mates say just copy senior report and make some changes ehre and there..

where is the justice when copying someone report give u an A and while my orignal report only promise moi a FREaking C... that is life lor.. not unfair.. just reality.
i admit being this stubborn fool who always trys to do stuff on his own and suffer in his own silence..i am not verstailie and flexible to ulitise the system..
so hate it...then again. i am plain toopid..grr...

i cant help now but to envy my frineds.. i choosen a diff path from all of u.. no matter where the path leads.. i will walk it till the end.. if i am lucky..someone nice might jion my lonely walk...

my Poor koala fell and was hurt bad..out of action for 6months.. haiz..
will be praying for u...i make her a get well card the other time..
hope she will hang on and get well real soon...

i am uncontactable again..hp at nokia care agian.. just got it repiar cos cannot hear caller.. not i cant speak to caller.. sucks.. everytihng just like to go wrong.

ruoyah gave moi something to cheer moi up.. ways to stay happi....
thanks ger.. she also share someting with moi...
be glad tat at least i have a reason to cry...
others dont... some chim stuff... take time to digest it.

haiz
no matter wat. the sun alway shine.. be it under the cloud or out in the open..
i shd be like the sun.. shining and smiling alwasy.. like wat koala said. look forward and do watever u can. and be thank ful for all that i am today..

thankszZZ...

a world made of steel and rock.

2006-04-04T22:44:00.000+08:00

i been unhappy and sad for the Gazillion time in NUS...
SCREW it..
SCrew nus and all its prof..
SCREW all the system and the fake enviroment..
SCreW all the ulgy ppl and those back stabber and selfish FARKers...

today is one of the suckiest day ever....
desing porject just pass up..
then got test tml.. of cos haven start studying...

design project got a some admends and some flaws.. i refuse to touch it . cos it had like suck one whole FREsking week out of moi life!!! SCREW design .. SCREW it SCrew it Screw it..

sent hp for repiar.. feel naked without it..

toopid tube burst after i tried to repair it.. Scratch the rim of my wheel,.. suckssss

then the second tube leak!!!! WTF... why eveyr sway tihng happen to moi..17 bucks down the drain for nothing.. $ 17 bucks.... one seven!!!!! damn it...

act smart and took back my test paper . got like 10/40 !! FREAKing fail miserably... FARK fARK fARK...
not taht i din study.. come on everybody.. laugh at moi...
laugh at the joke the world play on moi.. hahaah so freaking farnie.!!!!!
prof like just like to mark moi wrong.. evenwhen correct.. he will say soemtihng like u had fail to show u understand!! yah rite.. take all ur understanding and shaft it...

i woke up this morning feeling so sickish and shivered under my comforter.
got aheadache.. miss one lecuture but drag my big fat arse to sch..

climb up the flight of stair and i feel giddy and breathless...
i am so screwed.. sch has made moi unhealthy and weak..

day in day out breath the lousy air con air...!!
day in day out sit on the toopid chair and grow fat arse..

cant even afford some good time for tirnaing.. without gettting my mind of sch wrok

i am so sick...
sick sick sick sick sick sick!!!!

SCRew everything... it is just not worth it..

LEE sign completed

2006-04-03T01:58:00.000+08:00

left 8hrs to dead line for leesign project..
i tink i complete it.. with much sarifices.but i have emerge a stronger person..at last i tink i am more tolerant to stress and working with tight dead lines and able to work 12 hrs or more at one go..

that is the finale. the most siong project at nus chem eng..*grin*
i only skip 8 days of leuctue and tutorial for it. and the rest of the mod are laggin. wat's new..

doing this project make moi learn many stuff.
in terms of adversity, ppl will come to u and seek help. and ppl jion forces and team up..
maybe my loner nature shd make way..be a team player.. sometimes, things get done easier and when things fall.. u wont feel so much effect..sometine like taht.

then comes the free loader.. prideless creature.. come Brudder Brudder u only when u have good stuff.. how typical of the society..
so dispise them..

got the other kind. more dispicable.. ask moi then i tell them.. then when i ask them .. they wnan keep all knowledge like trade secret.. WTF lar!!!! like i takign a peice of flesh from u.. so competitive for wat?

if u are really good.. then fight or complete on an even ground lar..dont resort to such means....idont tink i lost to anyone..i only lost becos i refuse to get suck into the shitty system.. at least i am still myself... not ulgy on the inside.

and the knowing of new frineds who all do the same subunit for design..jsut friends.
got to interact withi eyecandy over the porject. but she is not really as nice as i though her to be.. she kinda stubborn and head on type.. din wanted arguement.. oh well, eyecandy will alwasy be eyecandy only.. regaarldess of her character.

got to see chibi in person.. she help moi draw usig solid works...grateful..
versatile gemini hates "housefly" for no apparent reason..got free choco and free drawing not bad wat..i also wanna!!

it must have been great to have a best frined.. when i look at chibi and sunbear, i get jealous.. been loner for so long..the feeling of sharing and confiding in someone..someone to talk to when are sad and lonely . someone to walk teh extra miles for u..someone who know all abt u and understands u..

toobad, just din have the luck of getting or makin a best friend..at the age now , frined are just frineds. teh defination change as ur age grows. nowadays friendship are transactional.. sheesh. i dont wanan grow up in this fashion.. but shucks taht the way it is..

amist the busy period.. i do take a look at the stars sometihng.. though they dont shine as bright as they used to.. not as promising as they seem and not convinving in showing moi the way..but wat every choices we made.. we stick to it and make the best out of it.
piggy had make a choice but i belief she made the correct one..!!

every seconds counts,i may skip meals and lessons for this project but i din forget abt close friends.still manage some time to make get well card..

time to chill abit. wed got one test..

tml shall go to nokia cnetre repair my sms machine, get comic book from joycelene, stroll ard, get repiar for bike and maybe watch ice age 2..

any takers?

ggrrrrrr...

2006-03-29T19:37:00.000+08:00

30 march is design2 project due date.. but only today they say extend DEadline..
been working from the moment i wake up and till the moment i sleep for teh past 5-6 days. reminded moi of reseach project. skipped all the lecutre and tutorial..

Dont tink i work this hard before.. maybe i jsut wanna run a great last lap. even thought my overall grades are just as crap..Design 2 is a showcase of wat we had learn over the 4 years. sheesh, i dunno man.. the fast and furious pace of sch work dont really allow moi to retain all the stuff i learn.. maybe i haven truly learn.
but watever teh case, the design project make moi learn and realise concept i din know back in the earlier years of my uni days. better apprecaition and understnading of the modules i took back then.

i tink everyone is awfully stressed. i see ppl having nicks like,
"like why nus dont let us enjoy the last 4 weeks."
"dont sleep"
"weeping away"
" ji bai siao liao"

seen some ugly ppl.. leechers for this project.. keep asking ppl for help and try to copy others work.. this are the ppl who survive uni and grad with better results...Sheesh.. tell moi how unfair life is...not tat i am selfish or wat.. this are the type of ppl on normal day wont even bother to say hi to u..walk on the street also pretend not to know u.. until when in trouble they go begging ppl..and call everyone her brother..
wonder where is ur pride.. how can u live life so lowly..
though reluctant, i shared when they ask..

i din feel really good after tat..

In a difference senario. xm din understand some concepts and i glady sent him my whole report and spread sheet. hoping to help him.. cos he is my good friend.. uni life wont be quite the same without him i guess..
i feel good..

feeeling very out of life now.. surely life is more than this design project.. looks like the ice age movie i looking forward to after the proejct submition is not going to happen and the climbing session aint going to happen ...

really ....really could use a nice break to chill out and do something enjoyable..
nvm lar, at the end of all this.. i will be a stronger person if i can get throught all this without giving anything less than my 100% effort..

motivation...!!

2006-03-27T01:26:00.000+08:00

KoALa Rawks manzZZ...

design sucks

why cookie like to crumble?

2006-03-25T21:46:00.000+08:00

wat a day..
computer cluster at sch is crowded with ppl rushing lee sign project..on a sat..

guess wat? caluculator spiolt!! SWay man.. not in the midst of leesign project and nearing exam dates..

guess wat spiolt? ear phone spoilt..

lets count..
1) hp cant ring or hear
2) sandals broke
3) tire flat again
4) calculator
5) earphone
6??

wonder wats next?
back to leesign report!!
finish as much so can See koala in acton tml.....

Angels brought mi here..

2006-03-25T00:22:00.000+08:00

been kinda busy working on desgin project..awfully stressful...
lack of bitching on the blog.

hp spiolt, now it is only an sms machine,uncontactable, got upset over minor set, squabble with marko, sandals broke.
sucky eh?
finally nearing the end of my uni days, regretful episode..

but the fact that i am able to come this far is because of angels...

angels like mummy and daddy..
angels like ah jie..

angels like you ..

u all have belief in moi and that keep moi going....

for certain. angels made moi stronger than i was....

Thank u.....

TEck whye bro!

2006-03-22T00:08:00.000+08:00

today test was unexpected. tink buang one...
design lost... groupmate was panicky.. infact i more panicky lor.!!!!just Tat i din show it..
okie okie i shant bitch abt today's happening..

today my teck whye bro msg moi!! asking moi to be his wedding bRO come dec!!!
How can i say no le?
i realise we dont have pic..
there shd be one when i attended his ROm a few months back. but the pic haven develop..

moi and patrick during our airborne cos.. i crop the pic.. so a bit small..
one joker and one serious YSL... muahaha.. act serious only...

Teck whye bro!!!!! always!!!

oh gosh!!! i miss the good old training days!!!!

Success is measured by happiness

2006-03-18T09:04:00.000+08:00

times seem to pass so quickly day by day. Deadlines are coming closer and closer.
i went to prof loh office to claim reemburisment for the poster yesterday, and he shared abt one hour telling moi stuff..

he was telling us how we shd approach everything in life.. presentation.. for i told him i was not actaully convince abt my FYP project myself.. seems like a phony jsut like everything else in the society.

watever the desicion made.. just stick with it... ride the WAves and enjoy the ride. simpliy weight ur priorites and go with the flow...

maybe it was easier for him to say tat.. cos he is awfully blessed with smart genes.
top student one lor.. MIT somemore..
maybe if i was that smart. i will be happier ...

but i cant be unhappy...
why?

1. i got a happy family
2. i got my dream
3. i got a roof over my head
4. i got nice friends

as much as i wish to regret upon my decision to enter and study chem eng, i really dont tink i need to...cos nobody will be certain wat lies in the alternate path on a diff timeline. i alwasy thought tat my spring time of youth will be better then if i enter the Special forces. thing will be different.
perhaps i will die from training...
perhaps i be happier maybe i be more miserable..

but one thhing is for sure. no one knoes exactly..

hmm.. didnt the military taught moi that ages ago? how come i forget this impt lesson? make do with wat u have.. cos teh bigger pic cant provide u with watever u requested for..
and dont compare.. teh more u compare the more dissatisfied u wil be..
i learn that once upon a time too..

nothing fair and nothing unfair.. u say it is unfair that u din are not born into the world driving a FArlaLA or a porche.. but then it is any fairer to the guy in the street on a hungry stomach?

i wish prof loh had shared that with moi during my early years in uni..perhaps i will see things from a diff light. basically uni lack the prof and student interaction.. teacher and mentor system.. tho the system is in place but do they realyl interaact?
i am happy tat at least my prof share with moi and guide moi along..tell moi stuff that the classroom din offer to teach.. unlike some of my frineds are totally ignored by their" hard to find" prof..

i see the same light i saw years ago, which was oscured by my incompetence and coulded by the ulginess of ppl..

the fire waits to burn even brighter after being dim for some time.
i cant wait to grad to do wat i am cut to do..
put the theory above to test and prove myself
and explore the deepering meaning to success

not measured by ur riches or ur status...

but the happniess from deep within.

anyone got a happy-meter?

grad anxiety.

2006-03-14T09:57:00.000+08:00

defination of anxiety

a:painful or apprehensive uneasiness of mind usually over an impending or anticipated ill
b : fearful concern or interest
c : a cause of anxiety

i am so feeling tat now... just not ready to step out of my comfort zone.. where i take charge of my time and my work.. in an alternate dimension that transit according to my free mind where i am the King of my world..
not ready physcially , not really emotionally
most impt not ready mentality... perhaps all will change in the next one month..
mingz.. u got to live stronger...

seeking comfort at my fav huant and "Walking off" with marko..
wonder when can i do tat in the near future?

been so long.. 4 freaking year.. 4 years in sec i meet great true friends. thought drifted apart..
2 years in jc i meet my pull gang though two stop pulling.
4 years in uni.. i only know ppl supercificallly..

how sad eh..
so much regrets.. poor grade.. so shallow.. wasnt as enriching as it claimed..BUt given a choice to start uni all over again, i tink i probality do everything the same way..

perhaps the only comfort i had is that i learn to love myself just this little bit more.

bad mood..

2006-03-11T21:57:00.000+08:00

bad mood day.. just hate it when i get stuck at a problem
and no one to ask...

everyone is like treating their info like some precious shit..
as if asking them for the info is like taking a peice of flesh from them..

ppl alwasy leech stuff off moi. then i feel so silly.. the worst kind is those keep asking and taking one.. then got stuff and never give back type..

haiz.. ppl are really so ulgy de...
just wanan make us of frineds.( or wat they seem to call u when they need help)
when ur are leech of ur benefits, walk pass also never bother to say hi!!
OMG.. i suddenly feel so ridicuously silly... why huh?
maybethat is wat it is mean by growing up.. be a cruel disgusting creatuer doing watever it takes to succeed..

ZEn BAO bAO:
Two monks were washing their bowls in the river when they noticed a scorpion that was drowning. One monk immediately scooped it up and set it upon the bank. In the process he was stung. He went back to washing his bowl and again the scorpion fell in. The monk saved the scorpion and was again stung. The other monk asked him, "Friend, why do you continue to save the scorpion when you know it's nature is to sting?"
"Because," the monk replied, "to save it is my nature."

i find it is veyr hard to help others when i am in deep shit. espcailly ppl who dont desevse it.. i don have unconditional love like GOD..really..
i suck big time....
pls dont make use of moi.. if u cant return the same way i treated u...

i wanna be a scorpian not a helpful monk.

Happi B day He-man!!

2006-03-11T01:53:00.000+08:00

yeah!! finally after so long..the secondary sch gang have a gathering..
cos it is He man B day!!!

the 10 of us went to rabbit to eat... chinese FOOD!!!
and the TCC to hang out and play nonsense games.!!!
muahaha
and be silly like we always do..

seem like Tcc is the usual place for us to hang out..
Tcc got this weird policy that cannot take pic one.. dunno why...
got a sign to prove it..

ironic eh?

moi and B day boy!!!

moi and BB1.. long time never see him laio le.. hee

air head moi nuaing at TCC .. hee.. forget sch work

we watch mid nite moive too!! so nice!! contented..

oh yah.. rem furby?

look at how furry it has become!! so cute de...

POSTER DAy!!

2006-03-09T22:20:00.000+08:00

woohoo!!! been a fun filled day today.. i miss pulling at the bar cos i have to wear formally to sch.. oh well.. wil pull more tml..

i wasnt really intereested in explianing my project to the indursty of top notch ppl that came and take a look i was more interested in socialising with my frineds..
took pic wiht laska one of the 4 chem eng idol.. too bad my prof wasnt there.. else i wll take a pic with him..haiz.. next time bah

i realise i dont have any pic during my uni days.. except for year one pagent.. but then again.. none of them sent the pics to moi when i decide to keep a low profile and turn into a loner..

but today i took many pics with my uni frineds

Xm... the guy who alwasy do project with moi....close close friend..

zi juan!!!! i dont really know her,, but i ask for a pic with her.. cos i am her SA.. hee sheesh so unnatural smile.. yucks...

hui qi.. my year one pagent partner... she won then!! lihaiz

dede.. my good friend!! a bit xiong ba ba one.. dont get decive by her look..

weithien.... another girl with giga watt smile one... nice smile d.

yeeli .. winner of best poster!!! proud of u de... u go girl!!

labbies... irem how we sought it out in hte lab thorugh the nite and those weekends.. bitter sweet memories..

hong jia. used to hate him..but now we are good frineds.. hee not time for hatred. grad time.. let bygone be by gone

lee sign 2 group... hope our relation will cont to be good.. no strain due to project work..

xin pei.. someone i just know. dont u tink girls with single eye lid are just so cool?

.
ah bert!!pop by..

piggy xian!!!

sun bear..

chirstina.. groovy's friend...nice girl..
so much pic.. still got a few more .. check the flicker.. tedious to load at here..
okieokie.. time to rest.. tml got work to do..
plus heman B day.. hee

tml whack the bar!!! i miss u already...

how do i love thee?

2006-03-09T00:07:00.000+08:00

koop from dautie blog

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, --- I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! --- and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

Elizabeth Barrett Browning (1808-1861)

uncertainty lurks

2006-03-08T23:24:00.000+08:00

something wrong with the blogspot. i blogged the other day but nothing appear..

amist all the busy project and poster presentation, ppl are planning for grad trip..
wonder if i shd go for one too?.. haven really rested since i enter uni... been like working very sem break... no doubt i learn during every work attachment but then i realise i wish to be like the rest of the undergrad.. slack and nua under the moon..
have fun and do wat ever when i am still young...

so tink really carefully if you wanna take up study award.. be prepare to scarfice le.. nolife... in other words.. perhaps it ill be better just to take up a papa and mama scholar ship...

i had been introduce to another perspective .. reagradless of how i do... graduation will mark the end of my study life.. sad but true..
i will miss the pool where i swam and swam in my younger years in uni
and i will miss the bar most where i spent my lonliness and saddest time there...
i definately miss the gd frineds i met in uni.. only this few. Xm, dede, piggy, winnie, sunbear and koala. i tink there shd be a few more..i tink.

it had been a mentally tiring coourse.. i just glad it is almost over but i will miss it.like wat piggy said.. enter aimlessly and leave endlessly.. i did not "begin with the end in mind."
just not sure wat will happen in the future.. just afraid of uncertainty..

anyway i jsut wanna take abt 1 month off before i resume work.. just play and get wild yeah? i tink this is hte only time to enjoy witout any serious commitment
but problem is where and who?
cant seem to find ppl who are intersted.. either budget or not time.
haiz..
i wish to do this.. go for a dive trip.. see other parts of the world and cycling up genting highlands..and climb some place nice..

any takers?

i had my poster presentaiton today and tml..

do drop by and see moi yeah? afternoon 2-4..dont thinki am too interested in presenting to the industry ppl but more of interacting with ppl. realise i have so little pic of my uni days..
so tml will be taking pic of most ppl iknoe.. hee..

groovy pop by today despite being on i.a..

still got pretty much stuff to do..

i need to step out of my comfort zone.
and brave the unknown..

Fool ArounD sunDAy...

2006-03-05T21:20:00.000+08:00

wonder when is the last time i played so hard on a weekend?
i went cycling early morning with 12 roadies.....
and went climibng with sunbear. cos sun bear went to eat sushi the other day.

i just felt happy today..
althought i was not the first 3 at the finishing pt
althought i still very weak at climbin..

dunno why..maybe in 2 more months i will grad and return to work
and all this will seem far-fetched..
mornign and evening time of rotting at the bar will seem precious..
so i must enjoy it..
just like living in the last 2months of my life..
somewat like a guy realise he got cancer and will look at stuff he took for granted from a diff persceptive ,

i tink i am not ready to give up all this.. yet i am not giving up on my dream..

i was listening to this song.. this was the song taht was going in my head when i ran my 10 k SOC last time..

长大以后为了理想而努力
渐渐的忽略了父亲母亲和故乡的消息
如今的我生活就像在演戏
说着言不由衷的话戴着伪善的面具
总是拿着微不足道的成就来骗自己
总是莫名其妙到一阵的空虚
总是靠一点酒精的麻醉才能够睡去

寻寻觅觅寻不到活着的证据
都市的柏油路太硬踩不出足迹
骄傲无知的现代人不知道珍惜
那一片被文明糟踏过的海洋和天地
只有远离人群才能找回我自己
在带着咸味的空气中自由的呼吸
耳畔又传来汽笛声和水手的笑语
永远在内心的最深处听见水手说
他说风雨中这点痛算什么
擦干泪不要怕至少我们还有梦
他说风雨中这点痛算什么
擦干泪不要问为什么

meaningful?
toks abt us working veyr hard for our dreams neglecting our parents and home
we wearing a fake mask..like the great pretender..
alwasy self decept ourself with our punnie acheivement..
alway feeling empty and lonely at times.

cant find the reason to live and take tihngs for granted
the earth are damage by us..

but yet asmist all this, we must find ourself.. wipe away the tear cos this pain is nothing..

that is rite.. pain is nothing.. i will live stronger...

introducing Ah Kor..

2006-03-03T22:22:00.000+08:00

i went to print my poster at peace centre..
i was the last person to print.. din knoe they close so early..
20 bucks for an A1 size poster..

first time printing..
i couldnt explain the relief when teh poster came out inch by inch from the printer..

it represent the long hours and lonely times i spent at the lab.. the times i spent staring at the journels and getting lost most of the time. staying over at lab for a few weekends ... going home at 2-3am.. i am so glad the whole thingy will be over soon.. just like my 4 years of sch.. love hate relation.. (^^,)
print nice nice and keep as souvneir. i got back my report and reading it make moi disgusted cos i tink it is so badly written.. yucks..

since i was at town i meet up with ah jie and felicia for dinner.. feli is ah bert sister...quite and frinedly one.. caring sister also.. bought ah bert dinner adn treat moi ice cream.. Ex manz.. indigestion..

anyway ah bert came and fetch us.. and we pop by his house for a short visit..
TA..TA

Ah kor... the legendary duckie.!! it is call ah kor cos it is the eldest soft toy.. hee...cute manz...

i din sleep when i reach home.. work on design till 4 am..
then wake up at 7 to go sch to pull.... jsut wanted to destress a bit.. Free one.muahaha
anyway got streams of ppl going to career fair..i prob be like them.. lost upon graduation..

someone approiach moi today asking to recruit moi for some modeling thingy.. had a few of those.. may be it is not bad to take part time modelling.. be like zoolander.. airhead one.. jsut like moi.. worth considering..
really hope those grad will find the job they like so 4 years of studying wont be seen like a false promise..

wanted to go climbing but sunbear go eat sushi.. no climb buddy.. haiz..
rot and home on a weekend.yucks!!

tml going for volunteer work .. maybe on of the last chance liao le..
cant wait for sunday ride... new tires. excited

new tires!!!

2006-03-01T23:08:00.000+08:00

my bike is road worthy agian...
i am poorer by a 100 bucks.... no more gifts buying, no more treats, nor outing.. that shd save moi some $$...

cant wait till sunday to try the new tires!! hee

anyway, ling(the indian chinese mix) called just now and ask if i wanna be featured in the sunday times the good bod session. unfortunately i turn her down.. paiseh lar... too fat liao le.. at least give moi a few week notice mah.. all the mugging and project din help..
like wat slut say.. got SPARE tire liao lor.!! merherher..
sorri lar ling, maybe next time okie? hee..

thought of koala, she prob the only person i know that was featured before.. but i din see it.. but she definately have a good physique.. koala rawks.!!..

back to design project

Sway with moi!

2006-02-28T22:12:00.000+08:00

damn sway lar...
i went cycling at lim chu kang the run way there..
then i had yet another flat tire ..

i just had one jsut recently..2 weeks ago to be precise. 10 bucks to replace a long valve tube.

i refuse to take cab cos i know $$ is hard to earn and ended up walking home.45min.F#@$@
quite disgusted.. training for the day is ruin...

$$ have to buy another long tube and prob new tires...

culprit?

TOopid thorn!
but it could be worst.. i could be stuck at cemetry or in the middle of the runway.
count my blessingS!!!

it really aint tat bad.

2006-02-27T22:55:00.000+08:00

it is only the start of the week.. and things aint looking great.

Changes had to be made to the poster i spent making the whole of sunday afternoon doing. just felt tat putting the protocol inside and taking pics of the lab apparatus was a totally un cool move.. i mean have u ever seen journals or review showing pic of wat apparatus and equipment u use? i mean the method was not develop by us.. we jsut try to use the method.. so now wirting the method was somewat wrong. most of the infomation could be read up rom books and reveiw anyway.. just need $$ for the euqipments..obivous my poster got critised by my prof and changes had to be made.. i sudden FElt my FYP is a waste of time.. in short.. i dont tink i have acomplish anything.. jst some silly uni requirement..others din seem to have this prob.. disgusted.

feel very silly since i wasnt able to generate wat the prof expected.. where else labbie was able to do it... like ppl telling moi how to do it but yet i do wrongly.
i feel so mini infront of the prof. probably becos of my toopidity..

shit dont come alone.. they come all at once.. the results of the prevous mcq test were released.. of cos the 6 peopl who map the mod unto lsm 2202 was clearly at a disadvanage cos we vere exempted from pratical. and teh freaking TESt got a whole lot of practical questions.. concept i dont even know and seen before.. statistic show we flare worse than those lsm2202 by average of 16 marks.. i got a 46 marks..Fail lor..
highest was only 60 and lowest is 36.
OF cos lar.!!! cos teh TEST is not FAIR..
i so wanna make noise.. if Nus is indeed serious abt making student learn and instead of going through the motion of setting generic test paper for all.
there is not learning value in throwing moi into a test without teaching or exposeing moi to it. and judge moi base on the GRADes..

i so wanted to make noise cos i really think this whole shit is so wrong.. but i have no time.

i so hate NUS..

hate the system .. hate the people and hate my own incompetence..

i got a test tml but i cant study cos i have to rush the poster for printing...

i try not to blog abt sad stuff but i just cant help it.really.
i pulle with marko today at the bar.. din realise how much i miss his company.prob miss pulling wiht koala too..MARko!! i miss u at the BAR!!!! . we had some fun and laughter there today..we did nonsense.. "warming up" and be Silly Airheads.. that is wat we are only capable off.

our "MAgnum" look.. it's "BeautiFUL". trying hard to be airhead like zoolander.

feeling low and stressed..and very blue and tired.
i thought abt the cute babies newphew and niece, little bundles of joy
and the watermelon piggie gave.

i just felt this little much better.

live stronger.

ride like the wind

2006-02-27T00:35:00.000+08:00

i finally recovered from sickness.. due to the rushing of the design interim report..
takes just a sec to fall ill and forever to recover...Sheesh!

progess update.

poster :90 percent done.. but not really certain is it the best way to present wat i wanted to present..

HR test: 2 more rreadings to do.. open book... let li gan flood my brain...

design: XL had done her reactor stuff.. and the responsiblity shifted to moi...

biocat paper: no progess

revision: nope..

today.. i went out for a ride on my bike . 40 plus k ride and a 6 k run... really deprove a lot. but i really miss wat i enjoyed doing.. forgeting all the sch work...
used to be a sunday routine.. but now seem like plain laziness and unmotivated espcailly when loaded with sch work and feelign sickish..

but i jsut wana say... IT FELT realli GOOd.... life shd be this way eveyday..merherher
and was complaining to dingy how we grown old and weak liao.=<

i met a new friend while riding.. caucasion guy.. super rfinedly.. he say he rode two stages of the tour de FRAnce... so cool... but i guess age caught up with him. he din ride really hard.. so cool.. wish him a safe ride before we headed diff ways.

HEY... marko coming to the bar tml morning!!!!!!WOOHOO... we are going pull and prob spout nonsense abt the derek zoolander which he adored ..
he calls himself derek peh and call moi hansel tan..Sheesh...
he say he challenging moi to a walk off and show moi the Magnum look!! hee..
going to be fun tml!!!

my bikes dirty...=(
back to readings...2 more!!

i like watermelonz

2006-02-24T21:44:00.000+08:00

i had lunch with piggy xian today..and she GAve moi A water melon!!!
so sweet of her..

the melon is actually a beanie note holder..
piggy wrote a card to cheer moi up..knowing i was feeling sad and all..
she wanted to pass to moi during V day but both was kinda busy.. so din manage too..

hey piggy, just wanna tell u tat u make my day today!!
dont lab till lateS!

a neW understanding

2006-02-24T01:08:00.000+08:00

i had a enlightening trip to prof loh office today.. oh well. poster day was soon and had to see him for advise cos it is but my first time doing poster.. i gain newer understanding.. sheesh.. a sem after my completed the project.. one of the stuff i probaly need to learn is abt packing contort the results to make it seem impressive.
easier said than done..

now thinking back on how moi and labbie tough it out at the lab, kinda sickening at htat time but now i can say i did relatively okay.

i can conclude my report was not well done. and quoting time was a limitation was a down part on my side.. sheesh. how unprofessional manz.. yah .. blame it on time..
* gulity*
i guess that cant be blame.. prob the mentality at that time. so frustated trying to get results.. long hours in the lab.. isolation....
i be surpirse if i can churn out a good report given that mental state i was in..
oh well.. i learned since.

how farnie.. i always try the blood and guts routine.. try to toughen out everything.
now i look at if from a diff pt of view, if i slow down and evalute wat i wanna show and present, i prob be able to put forth a better representation of my work.
oh well not totally..
Cao bin was a great teacher and advisor.. without him i probably wont even be at this stage of the project..

oh well all is done and i will concentrate on my poster. do come down and visit moi at poster presentation on the 8 and 10 at Engine auditorium.

so much for the term break.. been to sch almost everyday.. i was at the libray teh other day trying to read stuff for my desing project.. cos most of the books are loan out plus many holds.. sickening.. anyway i saw jsut this little bit of light for my design project.. now to obtain only the data. AgaR Agar knoe the general direction.. at least all the aspect the lecturer showed plus some others.
Absorber ppl.. let our pwr combine!

i got my V day pressie

A cute monkey to add on to my monkeys stuff toys.(^^,)

two months more to graduation..
i see uncertainty amongst my few good frineds in sch.its that cross road once again.
i see uncertainty in myself, my dreams, my passion.
be thankful.. many still cant land a job. or at least a good one.

i guess i must get ready to grown up..
the fire still burns.. althought it waver a bit in the strong winds..
i wont be going down without a fight.. but i refrain from the blood and guts routine..

so much for the term break. sch resumes.

always believe

2006-02-22T00:34:00.000+08:00

one by one..

Step by step...

Rome wasnt build in a day...
neither is the Great wall....

Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother.
i shan and will always believe in myself

i have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat.

i will either find a way or make one...

i will belief in my honour and pride.

alwasy remember
"If you stop struggling, then you stop life."

help moi

2006-02-20T02:09:00.000+08:00

i am so un-inspired,un motivated and pretty much lost..

a creed for the suffering

2006-02-18T23:40:00.000+08:00

i asked God for strenght tat i might achieve.
i was made weak that i might learn humbly to obey

i asked for health that i might do great things
i was given afirmity tat i might do better things

i asked for riches that i might be happy
i was given poverty tat i might be wise

i asked for power hat i might have te priase of men
i was given weakness tat i might feel the need for God

i asked for all things tat i might enjoy life
i was given life htat i might enjoy all things

i got nothing i asked for
but everythind i had hoped for
almost depite myself my unspoken prayers were anwsered

i am, among men, most richly blessed..

i just like it there

2006-02-17T23:55:00.000+08:00

i still feelng sickish.. but i woke up early to go to the bar..
althought i am sick.. i still pull.. amazingly i felt better.. for that one instance and a few dizziness from shortage of breath..

i jsut like it there.. the quietness , the serenity and the lonilness...

when i grad, i sure going to miss that place.. more than anything or anyone else in sch. cos that is the place i go to most when i am down.

it had become my winter oak.. =)

had an interesting lecture today.. saw marko..
had lunch togther.. and suggested to watch a movie since i din meet him up for the longest of time.. seem somewat unfamilar.. i told him i pull just this morning despite being sick.. ..i promise that we will forever be pulling buddies till my arm break but i guess his passion break before my arms could...din ask why he din wann pull anymore.. didnt probe

but i some how firgure out myself..

the moive was kinda farnie but i think dick and jane woudl be a better choice but for old time sake. benstiller moive must watch with marko.. but he brought a girl along.. his gf... heehee.. oh well.. she is a nice simple girl. probalby like him for who he really is...

i feel so much like a big bulb.. never once and never had been one before.. it the first and i feel totally rotten althought i pretended nothing .. i am the great pretender rem?

i think tat is the reason.. ppl move on to yet another phase of is life le... i am still stuck..feel happi for marko yet kinda sad cos yet another frined lost..
i know i shd move on too.. i knoe.. i wanna.. i wish....
but that some one din appear.
i guess the only thing is to wait bah... for how long?
i dont knoe..

oh well term break start..
bluff ppl one.. where got break..
they only wnan break u up only with tonnes of work..

i just hate sch .. dont u?

2006-02-17T00:47:00.000+08:00

it is amazing wat rest can do... i was so sickish trying to do up the design report.
everything comes back to back.. presentation, then test,a then report..
everytime i was just feeling better after like the precious 5hr of sleep, i go to sch feeling sickish. the body and sickness are just playing a silly game of tag of war.. wonder which will go first?

it is a toopid mad rush. i really wish i had more time. make that 48 hr a day..

24 hrs more to make up for my lousiness.perhaps more rest to recover.

the presentation was okie.. the test sucked BIG time..
i am sure i was prepared but some of the questions i din even have the concepts..
the lecturer din even say anything abt the questions that seemed so foriegn to moi.no even a slight hint. sheesh.. 30 FREAKing percent!!!!! i so dead..

poster deitals are up...
HR project is hanging
design is in a mess
hr test coming soon
bio cat review paper no direction yet
bio cat test is coming soon..
mod are lagging and i am dying

i haven even catch the moive fun with dick and jane like i wanna.. no company no time and no money..

very broke this month.. dunno why..

my poor time management and my air head brain is causing moi to miss out on the finer things in life.. surely it is more than just work and work alone..Yucky!! big time yuckS..

the more i stay in sch. the more stuff i learn..
i learn the selfishness of ppl
i learn why undergrads are fat pieces of walking lard, eventaully
( no time to even exercise)
i learn to indulge in jealousy
i learn to fall sick
i learn to be shady
i learn abt my imcompetence
i learn to be whiny

perhaps life would be better without all this..
just maybe..

haPPY V day to all!

2006-02-14T20:24:00.000+08:00

oh well..
HAppy V day to all!!!

i got a test tml..
i am sick...
and i got tonnes of work...

but HEy.. things aint tat bad..

the test is MCQ it could have been structures/essay

i am sick... but i could have been diagnosed with incurable disease..

i am single.. but i am not yet heart broken

WOOHOOooo.. the world's a great place to live in..rejoice and praise the lord..

the great clash ( review and conclusion)

2006-02-10T02:25:00.000+08:00

the presentation is over... tat @#$%^ insisted on using her slides dARk back ground with white words....and change all the rest... and guess wat? she change it without telling moi.....u scare the Rock will whoop ur candy arse?

that @#$%^ is scare of light lor.. and brightness the righteous..need to seek comfort from darkness. cheap bitch...

i really dont understad wat is the big "woo ha " manz..

dont u all realise wat she is trying to do? okie lar i give it to u tat @#$%^ is well verss in writing lar.. i am not as good in writing as the @#$%^ is.. and i am also not good at using self pity ..

u expect ppl to pity u and ur eyes? FOr crying out loud, give moi a break manz....
i dont wanna listen to ur sad story man....
why tell ppl abt ur eye? u expect sympathy? u see moi tellnig ppl abt my dick or not?
@#!%#@%!$#%
if u got eye problems and can bearly see the slides why do u still take the mod?
why dont u take a break from sch and wait for ur eyes to reccover?

am i suppose to do all ur work for u ? am i suppose to be ur eyes? get alife manz..
F off bitch!!!

in the wrong.. still say unhappy and show attitude.. totally FArk up manz!!!

labbie mention tat @#$%^ girls in my fac like to use see doc as excuse.. i find it farnie..oh well

the presentation went okie.. but i got a missing slide.. dunno why.. but i din make nosie wat.. i carry on as per norm.. i resort to using marker and white borad..
so no issue wat...
two missing eqn wanan KPKB..( kao peh kao bu).. @#$$%^ like to make noise only...

still got the cheeks to ask for a formal apology.. be thankful i din give u slap manz...

i am not normally liket hat.. i know this is going to show that i am not a gentleman quarreling with girl.. but this @#$%^ girl is too much manz..as long as i have my honour and pride.. i stand for it...

oh well she never reply so there wont be a great clash part 4
conclusion ?
ROCKY: 1
@#$%^ girl: 0

*dance the numa dance*

the great clash( part3)

2006-02-10T02:23:00.000+08:00

Then it is good if u are not unhappy.

Quoting: (naturally I hadn't got the chance to check NUS email in all that time). Except Luis, no one had the courtesy to inform me that they were going with to get late or not come for the meeting altogether. I later came to know that you went to meet the professor earlier on by an email you sent. But the least you could have done is let me know there was no meeting.

There was not meeting called in the first place… it was only a non formal one. Go if u wish kind… refer to luis previous mail. (so there was no need to inform u, I was always on time for meeting if there is one)

LOOK clearly.
U had ur problems we have our problems too…

The prof prompted for the lect notes. I did not see the prof earlier on…unlike u say....
Basically wat we( mi and shweilin did) was to get the tutorial done… and type it out..( read clearly in the previous mail)..

It is okie if u fail to check ur mail, we are not pointing fingers.

At least we ( mi and Shwei lin ) done our part to the group.
If I din check and u din see, wouldn't it reflect badly on ur group when the work don't get done..
Shdnt u be grateful instead?

I clearly left my hp number for any corrections…..

Don't get jumpy on ur assumptions..
There will no be formal apology…

yongming

the great clash ( part 2)

2006-02-10T02:22:00.000+08:00

Hello Everyone,

In reply to Yong Meng's long email, in the hope of clearing the air between us and in also asking for a formal written apology for the false accusations and bad mouthing (email attached below) I was sent last evening:

1)I did not "go around voicing my unhappiness" .The only reason for me calling Luis instead of you was because I realized at 6:30PM yesterday that the wrong slides had already been submitted and was in a panic to check if any last minute corrections were possible. I was at the eye clinic at NUH since morning yesterday and directly rushed to the meeting venue with dialated pupils (because of all the tests they had to run on my eyes). My sight was very blurred and I was barely able to see in daylight let alone be able to read….I have Luis's hand phone number saved on my phone, so in my state of urgency and blurry eyes I called the first person I could easily get hold of. Yong Meng, there is no need to be so sensitive and imagine things that aren't there… You say you are a direct person, so I hope you appreciate the directness of this email. I just want to end the imaginative beaurocracy in the group that you seem so eager to see. As far as I know our group has been very open and direct all along.

2) I was waiting for a so called meeting for from 5:15pm till 5:45pm at which time we had agreed to finalize tutorials before submission. In fact I rushed directly from the Eye hospital where I was stuck many queues since morning to the meeting venue (naturally I hadn't got the chance to check NUS email in all that time). Except Luis, no one had the courtesy to inform me that they were going with to get late or not come for the meeting altogether. I later came to know that you went to meet the professor earlier on by an email you sent. But the least you could have done is let me know there was no meeting. I could get very sensitive about it and start sending defaming emails to you all but for the working of the group I understand the compelling situations for cancelling the meeting and also have readily let go the fact that I waited for more than half an hour for a cancelled meeting… So you see it is sometimes very necessary in a group not to become overly sensitive and touchy about things.

I hope this clarification helps.

Rgds,

Lakshmi

the great clash ( part 1)

2006-02-10T02:18:00.000+08:00

Dear lakshmi,

I am sorri to say aparrently there are some tension among us.
If u have unhappiness jsut voice it out... I am a direct and proud person..

Before u can go around voicing ur unhappiness abt missing equation from ur slides, I hope u could understand the situation..
1) i change the font cos black background and yellow fonts are hard to print..and take notes..
2) u were so late in senting ur slides over..just like u .. i do not only take one Down stream processing mod.
3) prof loh emial us to sent the slide over by 5pm.. wasnt our agreement over the weekend??... at least we will have some reaction time??
4) i sent my hp by the mial.. if u got some changes u wanna make.. jsut give moi a call and i will have it check it out instead of going ard and vocie ur unhappiness abt it.. it will do not good to the team
5) it will reflect badly on us.. since we need to prompted by the prof..
6) no one was aware abt the deadline at 5. . I was the frist toknoe and i infrom shwei lin
7) if u are not aware, it is moi and shwei lin who rush it out before 5pm.. the slides and the tutorial...with solns typed ...so pls dont give shweilin attitude when he try to solve the eqn thingy..
8) ur slides are somewat diff from wat u will present the other time.. so i can say u did not prepare prior to the last meeting that is why ur slide was preety late..
we dont mind that... but dont ard messing the group-spirit and cause tension..

anyway ur missing eqn is retified ... white font cant appear in white back ground .that is why ur eqn dissappeared... we did not purposely delete it.. we are not tat cheap.

if u are still unhappi , i have no say... but personally i feel tat u have no reason to be unhappy ...
abt the notes, u could simply ask the class to fill in the blanks and make it interractive...

luis: sorri for getting you stuck in the middle of this.
shwei lin: pardon my tactlessness u knoe moi well enough.

yongming

new insights

2006-02-10T02:01:00.000+08:00

just the other day, WY and SH shared with moi views abt buddhism when i ask them for inspiration storys or Zens story to fuel my dead soul and carcass..
they were saying that there is no self and u cant define u... u got many u.. many indentity .. it changes from time to time and diff conditions..

when u have no you, wat ppl say.. and wat ppl do u will no feel offended cos there is no basis for u to be offended cos u dotn really exist in the first place...

muru share wiht moi yet another story..abt this priest who remain calm after beening hurl insults and comments.. he goes on to ask the person who shouted relentlessly at him.. " if i give u something and u dont accept it .. who do the thing belong to?"
the man reply curiously" it belong to u"
the priest then say: " the insults still belong to u.. for i did not accept them"
he then contiune his meditaion..

amazing huh? nice story.. many ppl ask moi not to stop blogging.. basically it is my life..i choose it the way i wanna.. ur view are urs and my views are mine..

so thansk to all those who cheer moi on from time to time.. u know who u are..
piggy , pat pig, rosy , muru , dauite and the list goes on.

and to those who like to irrated moi by posting or saying absurb stuff.. i say u take all nasty comments... turn that somebitch sidesway and proceed to shaft them up ur Candy ARSe.!!!

some update,
1.quarrel with an indain at sch.. cos she is unhappy over some presentation slides.. (details to be show next blog) stay tune..

2. when retail therapy for feb babies

3. tonnes of work to do at sch..

4. visit the bar almost every moring.

5. make some new frineds.

oh yah
announcement:
nus engine ppl !! FREE water bottle1!!! auntie and ah soh!! rem to Q up for it!!!
i definately be there!!!! heehee jion moi

Will u be there.?

2006-02-03T00:36:00.000+08:00

it is so ironic that ROsy mention that at the end of the year 2006, lets count the number of sad blog posting i have for 2006. i knoe i am had not been a cheerful soul. especailly recently..

i decided that i had let my feelings and thoughTs too transparent and words too straight.. as a results ppl are ofetn so jugdemental ...everybody is just so critical.

i always get hurt..
i decided that i shall not blog anymore... this will prob be my last posting.
just like she say.. "i do not lead a online life cos i got interesting offline life."
why do i always fight a battle that i cant win... why am i suck a loser for frineds and everytihng else? maybe Becos i din have a best frined since primary sch...but it will definately be nice to have a best frined le...

or at least a really depeendable friend..

i wanted to upload the free willy theme song " will u be there?" to hold moi and carry moi..lift moi up slowly .. show moi u care.. i get lonely sometimes... i am only human...

i always get down or depress when ppl do unjust to moi.. cos i really and truly expect true blue frineds. not just somenobody.. i am not blind!! i can see.. i can feel....althought i try to act blind and be obilivous to the surrounding happenings, i still get affected.

nice guy always finishes last.... i am not so nice.. but i am not so bad.. i figure i end up somewehre in the middle will be good..

hope u all got to know a little bit more abt this plain normal guy with his werid thinking and the nonsensical stuff through this blog.

thanks to all those who express concern on the tag board. for all that little encourage and advice u all gave..they mean a lot to moi...
thanks a lots. from the bottom of my heart...

Thanks for all..

Luv,
mingZ...

i'm truly and indeed... alone again ... naturally....

2006-01-31T01:54:00.000+08:00

ignorant is indeed bliss..

it is just so obvious..just tat i refuse to believe it..

i am so hurt..

sometimes...
sometimes i really really wish something nice would happen to moi for a change..

just for this

once

i only WAnna be with YOu

2006-01-28T19:29:00.000+08:00

I Dont knoe WAT is it that make moi love u so..
I only knoe tat i'll never wanna LEt u Go
cos u started something cant u sEe...
that ever since we meet, u had a HOlD on moi.
it happens to be true...
I only wanna BE with YOu

It doesnt matter where u go and wat you DO.
I wanan spent each MOmenT of the Day with you
look wat has happen wiht jsut one kiss.
I never knew that i could be in lOVe liKe thiS..
its craZY but it's tRue
i ONLy WAnna be with you...

you Stop and sMIlE at moi, ask moi if i care to dance
i fell into ur open arms and i didnt stand a ChANce

now listen honey...
i jsut wanna be besIdE u everYWheRe
as long as we are toGEthEr honey i dont cARe
you staRTed something cant u SEe...
ever since we meet u have a hOLd on moi.
no matter WAT u DO..

i only wanna be with YOu.

i only wannA be with YOu.

last DAy of the lunar Calender..

2006-01-28T15:47:00.000+08:00

the ENd of the LunAR calender, a new start comes tml...
actually i looking more to playing with the little nephew and neieces.
going be a crazy kindergarten session again..

din we used to enjoy cny more as a kid? one can of fizzy soft drink can make us overly delightful..

oh well.. i just we all grown up rite? but yet we retain tat little bit of child in us... hee..

this is the start of an awfully long week... i went chilling out wiht rosy , muru, connie , gugu and ling at blacks... cos i was feeling so love sickish.
thanks Rosy for accompanuing le.. and she also accompanied moi get chocolate for that someone.. thansk twinnie..
BTW a lot fun with gu gu ard..hee

muru came depsite having to work the next day.. maya ignoring him.. i really hated such feelings. i wish i coudl do more to console or help my bro.. cos i knoe the shitty feeling .. hard to comprehend and hard to explain.. only those who experience it will understnad it...

i cant help cos i am in no better state. i used to laugh at ppl being a love fool.. but right now i am truly one.. cant seem to focus on sch work . cant seem to focus on things to do. i dont mind the feeling but it is really eating unto moi...

how come i alwasy feel inferior upon fellow suitors?.. now PP is staying ... i got a feeling the chocolates are going to stay too...maybe give them to mummy lar.. i guess it will be yet antoher lonely V day this year.. i rem i spent last year V day at lab... sucky feeling..yucks..

come tml will be a new start for u and moi

and everybody....

Another lonely day..

2006-01-27T01:02:00.000+08:00

i have decided . PP will stay at home.. althought his intended purpose is not so.. but to make someone happy..

but i tink it is kinda hasty... dont wanna appear invasive....

oh well.. PP can stay on my bed till then time is ripe..

dunno rite choice or wrong move?... if rite i be glad.. if wrong i will not forgive myself for missing out the chance..

but then again.. i will never know rite?..

for now.. i TRy to stop msging u and stop thinking abt u..

HAppy CNY in Advance to ALL....

CONfused!!!!!! ARGH!!!!

2006-01-26T00:17:00.000+08:00

SHd PP stay or go??

pls advice!!!!!!!!!!!

weaksZ....

2006-01-24T01:36:00.000+08:00

how come u are always out with frineds and cant afford time for moi? am i tat insignificant ? or am i just suffering from the effects of missing u...? feel so vunerable

tired..

2006-01-21T02:11:00.000+08:00

no matter how tired i made myself to be, i still tink of u everytime...

got milk?

2006-01-20T00:05:00.000+08:00

WAT is new huh? sch is still screwed up..tutorial clashes.. piles of work when it is onyl like the 2nd week of sch... tighter security for the library. new booking system for the use of computer.. sucks!!!!.....

the work is realyl starting to pour in!!!! haiz...helpZZ..

read for 2 hrs in the librayr today.. awfully quiet. cos only like 6-7 ppl inside..

had lunch with joani, adrain and eva..

design project meeting.. then lecture
then of to bugis to buy CNY clothes...got a RED pure milk shirt!!! hee RED= huat AH!!!!! hope every thing will go smoothly smoothly..mummy say all will wear red for CNY hee.. i saw levi engineer jeans 2006 one.. so nice!! veyr tempted to get.. but budget... haiz.. *gain FACE*.. who wnan sponsor moi?

EVA jion moi and rosy for shopping.. she also looking for clothes
rosy and moi

eva and moi

Dingy jion us for dinner. dingy ur specs very toot...
and dauttie.

had lunch at mos burger!!! dingy trying to EAT chilli cheese DOG.. heehee.. Greedy lor.. slowly lar..

we vist muru at his home cos he like strian his ligament.. got him a nice card..

played with paris his doggy and work out at his place..
heehee

.. paris cute huh...

a few thanks today..
thanks to all those who ask when i am feeling low yest
Gim teck who wave doublely hard to moi today.. fishball too..
snoopy.. thanks for ur moose le.. so cute one

if koala represent aussie. moose will represent sweden.. hee

i am tired le.. but my mind refuse to stop thinking of u ..
Wat do i do?